inaeternumhedera

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Inaeternumhedera's favorite FMLs

By Anna L. - 25/03/2013 00:23 - United States - San Antonio

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

agreeclassic 36 187

vote type 1 6 592

By Anonymous - 17/02/2014 02:29 - United States - Hedgesville

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

agreeclassic 24 533

vote type 1 62 983

By TwistedCherub1 - 01/02/2014 22:42 - United States

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

agreeclassic 43 284

vote type 1 4 388

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TwistedCherub1 15

Monday 3 February 2014 16:14

To answer a few questions: 1. I did make it to the bathroom. 2. Cameras are everywhere in a prison, see from all angles, and have incredible resolution. 3. From my post I have to go through a door which requires pushing a button, identifying myself to master control and waiting for them to release the lock. Then two crash gates where the operator can see me through the glass, then two more doors like the first. That's if I'm in the D-space and not the day room doing rounds, which would involve two more doors. No two doors in any corridor can be open at the same time, so I have to wait for each to close before the next can open.

By sabz21 - 27/01/2014 04:37 - United States - Naugatuck

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

agreeclassic 46 158

vote type 1 14 287

By Anonymous - 22/10/2013 16:47 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

agreeclassic 43 449

vote type 1 13 205