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Beejay13's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 13/11/2008 08:42 - France

Today, my boss said to me: 'You know, our competitors are also hiring!' FML

agreeclassic 31 342

vote type 1 3 055

AKA the Oskar Deutsch look

By Noname - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML

agreeclassic 13 671

vote type 1 76 747

By Jaeda - 12/03/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

agreeclassic 19 314

vote type 1 72 872

Jaeda app_comment_confession_title

Jaeda 0

Friday 13 March 2009 6:00

I'm twenty years old, and my boss never leaves me enough work, but I'm expected to stay a full day so that I can answer the phones during all business hours. Sometimes my days are very slow, so I have to entertain myself. Don't hate on me and my goofiness because you're square. :) I forgot about the mustache because it was small and had been there for a good 3 hours when he showed up. And yes.. I had met him before and I will see him again. We're going to be doing some building for the nearby base. I work for a construction company.

Stop talking!

By Noname - 12/03/2009 11:24 - New Zealand

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

agreeclassic 157 331

vote type 1 18 063

Love is love

By SpiderMan - 12/03/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

agreeclassic 57 486

vote type 1 106 848