Emute

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Emute's favorite FMLs

By IbetIgotAIDS - 12/09/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

agreeclassic 95 842

vote type 1 15 286

By Anonymous - 29/06/2011 23:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

agreeclassic 71 034

vote type 1 7 384

By Anonymous - 09/03/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

agreeclassic 29 809

vote type 1 2 632

By cero_kewl - 05/03/2012 05:12 - United States

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

agreeclassic 33 588

vote type 1 2 964

Do that again

By lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

agreeclassic 38 691

vote type 1 7 155