thecoon99

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New Jersey, America
26 years-old
Thursday 25 February 1999
single

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Thecoon99's favorite FMLs

By omfgnooo - 09/09/2011 23:22 - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

agreeclassic 17 868

vote type 1 54 921

By Anonymous - 14/02/2014 01:31 - United States

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

agreeclassic 52 011

vote type 1 7 263

Taste test

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 12:28 - United States - Berkeley

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

agreeclassic 58 661

vote type 1 6 613

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 01:29 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

agreeclassic 52 595

vote type 1 5 767

By SirDirtyRedD - 25/01/2014 01:03 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

agreeclassic 414

vote type 1 40

SirDirtyRedD app_comment_confession_title

SirDirtyRedD 15

Saturday 25 January 2014 20:11

i would just like to make a point that he is only six he has plenty of time to make better plans lol