theanna

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Theanna's favorite FMLs

By dammit - 12/09/2015 08:11 - Australia - Redbank

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML

agreeclassic 25 476

vote type 1 4 792

Smart kid

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Pleasanton

Today, my neighbor pointed at me and said to his best friend, "This motherfucker still lives with his mama. That's why he can't get no pussy." I'm thirty. My neighbor is eleven, and correct. FML

agreeclassic 30 708

vote type 1 8 387

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

agreeclassic 24 781

vote type 1 6 714

No rizz

By blackitalian - 26/11/2010 15:43 - United States

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist, and ran. FML

agreeclassic 15 163

vote type 1 31 836

By PaperInfection - 23/11/2009 16:19 - United States

Today, I fell in a hole in my back yard and got stuck. My mother called the fire department. They all stood around laughing and taking pictures before they helped me. FML

agreeclassic 32 321

vote type 1 5 699