lonelyfuck

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Lonelyfuck's favorite FMLs

By FMLFMLFMLFML - 29/05/2009 17:52 - United States

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

agreeclassic 66 242

vote type 1 14 898

By so_this_is_me - 13/08/2015 17:12 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML

agreeclassic 24 863

vote type 1 3 554

By jessiebear159 - 28/05/2015 07:04 - United States - Menahga

Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML

agreeclassic 28 396

vote type 1 2 902

jessiebear159 app_comment_confession_title

jessiebear159 16

Friday 29 May 2015 8:23

Thank you for congratulating me. I agree that my father's response was probably just from shock. He called me not long after we hung up the first time and apologized for reacting that way. I am the youngest of his children and his only daughter, he may just not be ready to let me go yet. He has only been married once, to my mother, and they have been married happily for 22 years. I appreciate the advice that was given and I plan to talk to him more about his concerns when he gets back this coming week.

By georgiaswish - 20/11/2013 20:05 - United Kingdom

Today, my obsessive ex, who recently cut my phone line to stop me from talking to my boyfriend of three years, got a job at the same restaurant where both my boyfriend and I work. FML

agreeclassic 55 043

vote type 1 3 850

BREAKING

By too young for this - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

agreeclassic 69 001

vote type 1 5 962