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RyanDallasParker

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31 years-old
Friday 25 March 1994
single

A propos de Ryandallasparker

My name is Ryan Dallas Parker and I am from The land known as Canada I am a little bit of a perfectionist and I like proper grammar. I cannot stand when people use improper words and functions and punctuation isn't a big deal :) I enjoy Longboarding, Biking, roller blading and driving. I love Metal, Dubstep, and Rock. Feel free to add me but I will grow your profile first before accepting to be sure you are appropriate.

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Ryandallasparker's FML badges

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Ryandallasparker's favorite FMLs

By TheEnglishOne - 23/01/2009 00:42 - United States

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

agreeclassic 66 875

vote type 1 8 730

Rookie

By aceshot97 - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street. As I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers, or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML

agreeclassic 31 215

vote type 1 7 731

By KayleeXLoVe21 - 03/11/2011 23:48 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

agreeclassic 38 950

vote type 1 9 744

Parental advice

By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

agreeclassic 38 141

vote type 1 8 918

Piss off

By KaySchrages92 - 19/10/2023 16:25 - United States

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

agreeclassic 50 674

vote type 1 3 896