MrSnickleFritts

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Mrsnicklefritts's favorite FMLs

By offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

agreeclassic 267 597

vote type 1 90 937

Rhythm method

By booty backfire - 01/05/2014 17:31 - United States

Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML

agreeclassic 45 011

vote type 1 7 754

Sorry Mr Whiskers

By Brody89 - 09/04/2014 18:40 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

agreeclassic 74 069

vote type 1 38 097

By MakesMeLol - 18/01/2012 22:30 - Ireland

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

agreeclassic 44 304

vote type 1 6 790

WTF are you doing in here?

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

agreeclassic 29 012

vote type 1 5 721