CVITE

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Cvite's favorite FMLs

By fecurtis - 23/01/2009 08:36 - United States

Today, I went to Target to buy some soap and this 65-70 year old woman next to me was asking a sales associate if they had any bubble bath mix. I suddenly pictured her naked, bathing herself and suddenly my dick just couldn't sit still. It's probably because I haven't had sex in over 22 months. FML

agreeclassic 32 649

vote type 1 13 458

By Mack - 09/09/2011 00:01 - Canada

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

agreeclassic 34 671

vote type 1 6 148

By Stuck - 08/09/2011 10:00 - United States

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

agreeclassic 9 340

vote type 1 67 848

Effective

By Nublet - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

agreeclassic 36 450

vote type 1 5 587

By stupidboys - 06/09/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend after helping him study for his ACT, giving him a back rub, and having really awesome sex with him. His reason for dumping me? He's too stressed out to have a girlfriend right now. FML

agreeclassic 38 802

vote type 1 4 638