survivialskep

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Survivialskep's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 30/05/2013 15:20 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

agreeclassic 53 100

vote type 1 4 377

By Oops - 10/06/2013 11:22 - United States

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

agreeclassic 48 212

vote type 1 13 833

By not the cook - 09/06/2013 17:38 - United States - Wernersville

Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML

agreeclassic 50 702

vote type 1 15 064

Oddball

By WTF - 01/06/2013 04:03 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

agreeclassic 53 100

vote type 1 24 587

By MarkQ95 - 21/07/2013 23:58 - Ireland

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

agreeclassic 30 850

vote type 1 59 809