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Tailored

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 20:00

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. Told her I saw a pretty dress I liked. She asked me who would fit in that? When I replied they have it in different sizes. She replied with, "Yeah but definitely not yours.". FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 103

All shook up

By Anonymous - 08/12/2025 09:00

Today, my friend's brother is severely gorgeous. He is also off-limits because she isn't very fond of him. I also don't want her to think I'm using her to get with him because she's a newer friend and I didn't know she had a brother until I saw him, and I'd rather be her friend than his girlfriend… BUT HE'S BEAUTIFUL. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 213

Let's call the whole thing off

By Foreshadowing - 10/12/2025 03:00

Today, I told a customer to “Enjoy your food” as I handed him his receipt instead of his meal. He replied, “You too.” We both froze in silence for a few seconds before he slowly took the bag and walked away in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 119

Life on the North Pole

By Late for work (at least I had an excuse) - 11/12/2025 22:00

Today, after a snowstorm, I went to start my car early in the morning for work. The door was frozen solid, so I had to jimmy it open with a screwdriver. Then, as I started to drive off, my foot slipped off the clutch and the car stalled out. The battery was too weak to start it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 80

Slander

By Some people just suck! - 15/12/2025 12:00

Today, at work, I overheard two of my coworkers talking about how "creepy" and "ugly" I am, and that I look like I'd be the kind of guy to sneak into someone's house and "have my way" with them. Boy, did that sure help with my self-esteem issues. I'm going to go and report them, but still. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 105

Did the rescue work?

By Hero of the day - 19/12/2025 00:00

Today, I tried a heroic rescue: a toddler’s teddy stuck on a fifth-floor balcony. I borrowed a ladder, climbed while sweating, reached it, and felt my trousers rip with a sound like Velcro in a thunderstorm. Dangling there with my superhero boxers exposed, three people filmed me while jeering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 94

Not my fault!

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 83

Unfair

By ilemonade2008 - 26/12/2025 00:00

Today, the most obnoxious customer came into my job. She surprisingly scrutinized everything I did. She even mentioned I didn’t offer our store credit card (I honestly forgot due to being overwhelmed by her rude attitude). Turns out she was a secret shopper. Apparently, I failed her little tests. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 147

Seasonal depression

By Anonymous - 27/12/2025 20:00

Today, I was speaking with my therapist about future romantic endeavors. I'm currently separating from my husband of three years. I feel it's unlikely I will ever date again, and I've developed a phobia of sex over the past year. It's so severe that I cannot even masturbate. Destined to die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 144

I'm your man

By Anonymous - 31/12/2025 09:00

Today, I had a fourth and final round interview for a well paying job for which I'm very qualified that I need because my own business in the same field fell off a cliff after 15 straight successful years. The woman who interviewed me hated me from the start and lied about my analysis on simple things in her report. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 81

Nutrition expert over here

By Dog - 02/01/2026 03:00

Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 336

Gimme a human

By I HATE THESE BOTS - 03/01/2026 22:00

Today, I spent ten minutes annoyingly arguing with a customer service chatbot, demanding to speak to a real human. When a real human finally joined, they opened with, “So... I see you’ve been yelling at my robot.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 116

Let this be a reminder

By Anonymous - 11/01/2026 00:00

Today, I found out that, despite the emails being completely different and not having Prime Video, my free trial on Apple TV somehow got charged to my family's Amazon account. The good news is I was able to cancel the subscription and get a refund for the month. Bad news is the sub was for 7 months. I paid back $80. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 117

ADHD brain

By Anonymous - 12/01/2026 20:00

Today, I cleaned my room, which I’d been putting off for ages. Halfway through, I sat down “just for a second” to check my phone. Two hours later, I was still scrolling, surrounded by half-sorted piles of stuff. When my roommate walked in and asked if I was reorganizing or giving up, I didn’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 338

Memories…

By Anonymous - 14/01/2026 15:00

Today, I dug out an old yearbook to look up one of my teachers. Instead, I immediately found the signature of my horrible ex, claiming my “yearbook virginity.” He got my physical virginity too, through some extremely unethical means. I hate him for being a scumbag, and myself for being a fool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 98

Not your problem

By Anonymous - 16/01/2026 09:00

Today, I saw a good friend beg and crawl back to her controlling girlfriend who treats her like a child for the umpteenth time, even after herself acknowledging that she got mistreated. I don't know what else to do to help her, or if I even should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 59

Parenting is tough

By Paul - 18/01/2026 03:00

Today, I rushed to a pharmacy with a sick toddler and handed the pharmacist my insurance card. He looked at it and said, “This expired six months ago.” I’d been using the digital copy on my phone the whole time and didn’t realize my insurer had changed my group number. I left with a $120 bill and a sticky-handed kid who refused to take medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 85

Snow joke

By Anonymous - 25/01/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, the snowplow truck backed into my truck. The window got smashed out, and the door is wrecked. The guy was a scumbag and just left. I didn’t realize he'd hit the truck until hours later. So there’s one inch of snow inside my truck, not to mention that it isn’t driveable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 70

Impressed?

By anon - 27/01/2025 09:00 - France - Paris

Today, I made eye contact with a very cute girl in a café just as I biting into a croissant. It crumbled so violently that a piece flew up into my eye. She just stared at each me in disbelief as I yelped and rubbed my eyeball clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 135

Solved mysteries

By Abe - 29/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I found out the "mystery buzzing" in my apartment wasn’t an electrical problem. It was my landline cordless phone vibrating under the couch, which had apparently been stuck there for two days. I missed 23 calls, mostly from my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 241

Misophonia

By Phyllis - 30/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, it's almost a week since our intern started. We have an open plan office, so I can't help but hear her talk excitedly. This wouldn't be a bad thing if she didn't stop saying "it's giving…" and "like" every ten words. Our company doesn't allow headphones, so I'm stuck in hell, which, like, is giving, like, you know, pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 119

There's still hope, then?

By Anonymous - 08/02/2025 20:00 - Nigeria

Today, I think I've finally lost my girl. I think she stopped liking me a while ago, but I didn't ask because I was afraid of the answer. We haven't texted in almost two days now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 434

Stuck on you

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I put on a new pair of jeans and went out. Halfway through my errands, I realized the long sticker with my size was still on the back. I walked around for quite a while advertising my embarrassing waist and leg measurements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 327

Never go back

By Anonymous - 16/02/2025 07:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I'm contemplating messaging my ex. It's been 5 months since I quietly moved on after he started ignoring me, or telling me that he was actually planning a date by asking me if a shirt looked good on him. It did look good on him and he's probably moved on too, while I've spent the last 5 months thinking about him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 477

Hush!

By Anonymous - 03/03/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a letter signed “anonymously” by at least 6 of my neighbours that unless I do something about my loud nightmares they’re going to start calling the police every time it happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 146

Rookie mistake

By George P - 12/03/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I went up to a cute barista at the coffee shop and told her, “You make the best coffee, like seriously, you could make a career out of it.” She gave me a weird look and responded, “I AM a barista.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 652

Chilled

By Anonymous - 20/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I put on a new shirt and headed out to a café to meet a friend. Halfway through our conversation, I noticed my cat had followed me into the café after somehow making a nest in my bag. I looked down to see her tail sticking out of my purse, wagging like she owned the place. She is tiny, but still… how she managed to stay hidden for more than 10 minutes is beyond me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 337

Good one, Meemaw

By Anonymous - 21/03/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was teaching my grandma how to use her new tablet. After explaining and setting everything up, I left her alone to check her email. When I came back, she'd somehow "mistakenly" sent an email to our entire family with the subject line "Help! My grandson thinks I'm a dipshit and has kidnapped me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 111

I'm outta here

By Not your maid - 23/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend screamed at me for not cleaning his son's bedroom. The kid is 13 years-old, and there's nothing physically or mentally wrong with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 100

Screen time

By I hate myself - 25/03/2025 09:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, I realized I had been staring at my phone for an hour without doing anything else. When I looked up, I noticed my mom had been standing in the doorway, shaking her head at me for a solid five minutes. I hadn’t noticed her. I wish I could use this laser focus to study for my college exams instead of wasting my time doomscrolling Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 476

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, hoping to seal the deal on a promotion, I had my boss over for dinner. My dad, who lives with me, started ranting about homosexuals burning in hell. My boss’s daughter is a lesbian. Now my dad’s nose is broken and I fear for my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 401

You deserved it 815

Today, one of my idiot classmates decided it was a good idea to throw his water bottle across the room to his friend. Unfortunately, I was sitting in front of his friend. I now have a very noticeable bruise and bump near my temple along with a headache. Everybody laughed at me. Even the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 034

You deserved it 1 695

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 794

You deserved it 4 533

Today, at the hospital, I had to tell someone he was going to die because I was the only one to speak his language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 71

Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 223

Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, three policemen interrogated me and asked for ID, but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 227

You deserved it 5 824