The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Grindset mindset

By stupidboss - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Bellingham

Today, I got into a car accident with my boss, and he asked if I could come to work the next day. I'm in the hospital and he knows it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 149

You deserved it 1 236

By Unlucky - 04/09/2018 14:30

Today, I received a bill from PayPal stating I owe $350 for an account that's linked to an email that I haven't used since 2015. I can't get into the account because someone hacked it and changed the password and security questions. Customer support is no help because I have no info about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 866

You deserved it 249

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 23/07/2020 23:01

Spicy

Today, I texted my friend, asking if he could give me a ride. He assumed I meant sex, and told me I need to respect boundaries. I actually needed a ride to the hospital for a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 018

You deserved it 250

By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 447

You deserved it 1 860

By again? - 15/03/2016 10:03 - United States - Olympia

Spicy

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 452

You deserved it 2 515

By Scarred - 22/09/2018 12:00

Spicy

Today, my Nana asked me to get her a book from her nightstand, but failed to specify which nightstand was hers. I stumbled across my grandparents' collection of sex toys instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 105

You deserved it 320

By notsohappilyeverafter - 26/11/2011 21:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 209

You deserved it 3 768

Unfazed and dazed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Lewes

Today, I found out that licking your very chapped lips while totally zoned out and looking in the general direction of a girl, will end up with you becoming the massive college creeper that everyone avoids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 550

You deserved it 3 715

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 21:48 - United States - Merrimack

Today, I found out that my friends only hang out with me so they can play with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 780

You deserved it 2 428

By SK8WITME - 12/02/2016 18:22 - India

Today, a short guy asked me how the world looked "up there", as I'm really tall. I decided to lift him up so he could see for himself. I failed both times I tried, to the great amusement of everyone watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 144

You deserved it 6 803

By Ashton - 15/11/2018 13:30

Today, my girlfriend told me I have a doppelganger on campus who looks just like me, but way cuter. She got his phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 854

You deserved it 204

By Anonymous - 28/01/2016 16:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 403

You deserved it 1 831

By Anonymous - 18/06/2009 07:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 202

You deserved it 119 410

The dipshit in 4B

By DookDaSpook - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, while I was in a very important meeting on Skype, my apartment complex was evacuated due to the fire alarm going off. The reason was that my neighbor put a fork in his microwave due to him being extremely drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 912

You deserved it 1 388

By AustrianCow - 22/12/2015 21:45 - Austria - Linz

Today, I wanted my boyfriend to meet my parents. My mum introduced herself as, "I'm Petra. I'm completely normal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 024

You deserved it 2 088

By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 02:32 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 108

You deserved it 20 128

By Kisuke_Urahara - 30/11/2015 02:11 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at my Grandfather's funeral, my Grandmother decided it would be a good time to tell the story of the time she went to a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 140

You deserved it 1 784

Kisuke_Urahara tells us more.

Kisuke_Urahara 9

Monday 30 November 2015 17:31

Honestly, it was pretty funny. Just a little awkward at the time.

By not my fault you’re a vapid idiot - 01/04/2019 07:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, my coworker told everyone on staff that I’m a stuck up bitch because I stared blankly at her when she tried to talk to me. I tried to listen, but I zoned out after she rambled on endlessly about the Kardashians and Kanye West. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 214

By Shoutout1011 - 15/04/2017 22:00

Today, my 6-month-old daughter decided she'd scream every time I'd answer her cries instead of her daddy. He just left for a 12-hour shift at work. Only 11 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 646

You deserved it 480

What did you just say?

By keeks_25 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 252

You deserved it 26 149

Prank war W

By Anonymous - 20/08/2014 21:03 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 409

You deserved it 9 952

By scorned ex - 17/10/2015 03:29

Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me an email that read, "How to lose 25lbs". I was eating a large slice of pie when I opened the email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 439

You deserved it 7 815

Potterheads

By collegestudent - 01/06/2019 12:00

Today, I was reading the seventh Harry Potter book at an airport. A woman asked me what I was reading, so I told her. She said, "Oh, so you have children?" Since I'm in my early twenties, I was taken aback and said no. She replied slower and louder, "Oh, so you have a childlike mind?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 153

You deserved it 366

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 13:25 - United States - Evansville

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a little over a week proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 036

You deserved it 3 213

By Anonymous - 23/11/2016 16:58

Today, I bumped into my English teacher at an AA meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 488

You deserved it 1 033

Hobbies

By Stinkycar - 05/06/2017 12:00

Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 685

You deserved it 548

You gotta be kidding me

By KnowledgableEx - 10/11/2016 12:42 - United States - Baltimore

Spicy

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 702

You deserved it 1 206

Bad day

By mandieee - 15/06/2017 20:00

Today, I had my first shift as a server at a restaurant after getting stuck behind an accident and arriving late, apologizing profusely. Apparently no one knew I'd been hired but I was still yelled at for tardiness. They then made me clean a fridge for 4 hours and paid me in pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 293

You deserved it 393

By mixedupminx - 06/02/2017 15:06 - Netherlands - Wageningen

Today, I found out why my thesis supervisor made me change my whole project I was working on for the past 3 months. Apparently, he had another student doing the same thing and they published it today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 469

You deserved it 759

mixedupminx tells us more.

mixedupminx 8

Monday 6 February 2017 1:18

Op here, it turned out that this other guy was working on it before me (under the same supervisor..) so he rightfully published it. in the end I kind of resumed his thesis and continued best I could. It sucked, but I really want to graduate!

By Anonymous - 21/08/2019 18:00

Today, I now have been dumped by 4 serious girlfriends in the last 5 years, each of them for the same reason: Being with me would have meant dealing with my mother who, without fail, asked each of them when we planned on marrying and having kids, every single week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 259

You deserved it 602

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 225

You deserved it 5 656

Today, I sparkled because of this glitter bar my mother got me from Lush. I didn't realize until after I got out of the shower that it wasn't just ordinary soap. I tried to wipe off the glitter. It wouldn't come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 285

Today, I thought I finally had a decent boyfriend. He didn’t seem like an emotionally unavailable alcoholic like my past boyfriends. Then I found out he’s an unemployed Trump supporter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 810

Today, upon getting the paperwork for my Court Diversion, I found out I had to write an apology letter to my brother. The brother who sent me to jail for trying to get him to stop abusing his girlfriend, and holding him instead of fighting when he charged at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 77

Today, I found out the guy who rejected me just two days ago, and who told me he was “asexual” and “incapable of feeling romantic love” is in fact very sexual, and very much in love, in the backseat of his SUV with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 269

Today, I was making out with some girl at a party and noticed that she wasn't very good at it. I tried to say, "You kiss like a 16 year-old doing it for the first time" but ended up saying, "You kiss like a 16 year-old." Upon saying that, a dozen people turned and looked at me, giving weird looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 1 630