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Take a seat

By Anonymous - 04/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to sit on my bed in the pitch black and I somehow completely misjudged where I was standing in the room, so I missed the bed entirely and sat down on thin air. With nothing to stop me falling, I landed full bore on my ass and felt my coccyx snap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 148

Dinner is on me

By I have no words - 24/08/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, after a long and exhausting day at work, I had no energy to do much of anything, so with that in mind, I got Arby's on the way home. When I did get home and was trying to carry the bag inside, it ripped open and spilled my food all over the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 106

Slice of life

By Anonymous - 07/09/2025 15:00 - Netherlands - Creil

Today, my son was crying because he wanted to listen to a song that he and Daddy listen to. My husband is at work and I can't reach him. I've looked and looked for the song but I can't find it. My husband has such wack taste in music I don't know where to look, and my son is too upset to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 70

Good question

By Not today Satan!! - 18/09/2025 03:00

Today, I reheated leftover soup and confidently carried the steaming bowl to my couch to watch TV. I sneezed halfway through sitting down, spilled soup all over my lap and instinctively yelled, “WHY, GOD?!” loud enough that my crazy neighbors banged on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 132

Pipe down

By ExCoworker - 27/09/2025 00:00

Today, my ex got mad at me because I made her shut up. She started a new job six months ago in sales, and all she does in the time we have to work in a team as volunteers is whine about her customers. She even started treating us (other volunteers) like her customers, to the point that we feel uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 88

What are you hiding?

By Horny af - 05/10/2025 22:00

Today, after several grueling weeks at the gym, my moribund sex drive suddenly kicked into high gear. All I want is for my husband to fuck me senseless, but he's now convinced I'm just trying to butter him up before dropping a bombshell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 176

Not my best work

By Anonymous - 16/10/2025 15:00

Today, I tried cooking dinner from scratch for my date. Everything was going great until I realised the “icing sugar” I'd sprinkled all over the dessert was actually flour. She took one bite, coughed, and said, “So you’re more of a Uber Eats kinda girlie?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 363

Great grandfather material

By Anonymous - 29/10/2025 20:00

Today, I went to see my dad to tell him that my girlfriend of two years is pregnant. He burst out laughing, and said, "You r*tard! You've fallen for the oldest trick in the book! Caught by your dick in the hairy bear trap!" He was still laughing hysterically when I left an hour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 122

Motherly odor

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 15:00

Today, my daughter said, “Mommy, you’re my favorite person!” Then she added, “Because you smell like mac and cheese.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 115

Related by blood

By Anonymous - 11/11/2025 03:00

Today, via Ancestry, I learned I am distantly related to my boss. Did it bring us closer? Did it buggery. My boss is a vindictive harpy at the best of times and now she knows we share a great-great-grandmother, she hates me even more because “my side of the family blah blah blah…” FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 87

Bad day, huh?

By Anonymous - 12/11/2025 22:00

Today, work was exhausting, so I decided to get a pretzel crust pizza from Little Caesars on the way home. When I got home and opened the box, not only was the pizza cooked rather poorly, but there was also a mountain of salt strewn all over it, EXCEPT for the crust. How do you even mess up that badly? FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 79

Twisted

By no vacation then I guess - 20/11/2025 00:00

Today, when I got home, I learned that my five year-old had tried to burn the house down when my wife told him that he needed to stop watching TV. Now we need a counselor and it's going to cost thousands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 114

Beep beep

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 15:00

Today, my phone auto-connected to my car’s Bluetooth as I drove my boss to a meeting. I didn’t realize my playlist had switched to dramatic telenovela theme music at full volume. She jumped, grabbed the door handle, and asked if I was “OK, like, emotionally?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 229

Go team!

By Mustanggt - 28/11/2025 22:00

Today, my team was mistakenly scheduled against an over-60 team. I'd feel sorry for the old fogeys if they hadn't beaten us 3-0 and racked up seven yellow cards and a red on the way to doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 332

Shot by both sides

By Anonymous - 21/12/2025 22:00

Today, my girlfriend was too busy having sex with my roommate to notice our accommodation being burgled. So now I don’t have a girlfriend, a rent paying roommate, a television, a PS5 or, for some reason, half of the books from my bookshelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 90

To the moon!

By juggalo2 - 03/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told my wife I was getting nervous about the surge in silver prices, and I wanted to sell some of our holdings. She told me not to be a "paper-handsing little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 331

Cramped my style

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 20:00

Today, I reached a limit I wasn’t aware I had when I had to tell my husband we’re not having shower sex anymore because he’s gotten so big since he retired, we don’t both comfortably fit in there anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 45

Are you okay?

By Anonymous - 17/01/2026 15:00

Today, I brewed coffee at 7 a.m., clattered around getting ready, then left for work. An hour later my phone buzzed: “Are you okay? Your front door is wide open.” I’d left the kettle boiling and the door unlocked. The neighbor watered my plants and left a Post-it: “Your cat used the counter as a jungle gym.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 44

Tripped wires

By Anonymous - 18/01/2025 00:00 - Denmark

Today, I joined what I thought was my company’s morning meeting. It took 15 minutes of listening to strangers talk about organic farming before I realized I was in the wrong Zoom. I still don't know how the link I was sent got me there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 136

Complaint

By Anonymous - 21/01/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I work cleaning houses and a customer submitted a complaint about me to my boss, because he didn’t expect me to use his water from his taps, running up his water bill, which he saw as unfair. What was I supposed to do, bring a water tank with me on my back? Prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 80

He's onto you

By No way, doggy - 25/01/2025 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I tried to sneak some cookies out of the pantry without my dog noticing. I dropped one, and now he thinks that every time I open the pantry, it’s snack time. He won’t stop barking at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 189

Socially inept

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to a grocery store and tried one of those free samples of a new type of cheese. When I went to throw the toothpick away, I dropped it in a large container of olive oil. Not realizing it was a “special” display, I casually tried to scoop out the toothpick with my hand... only to get shooed away by an employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 561

Concerning

By Debbbbbbie - 28/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Gary

Today, I showed up to a party. People kept offering me water, asking if I was OK. I didn’t even realize what was happening until I overheard someone say, “Look at that girl; she’s totally wasted!” The truth? I had stayed up late the night before doing laundry, and I was just really tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 91

Mr Bean

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was at a work lunch, and the waiter brought me a soda I hadn’t ordered. I thought it was a free mistake, so I took a sip. It was actually my boss’s drink. As soon as I noticed, I tried to give it back, but he just stared at me and said, "It’s fine. I’ve already seen you drink it now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 478

Casual

By Patrick - 11/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I went to meet a friend for coffee. When I arrived, I mistakenly thought it was a casual meet-up, but apparently, it was a date. I didn’t realize this until she leaned in for a kiss at the end, and I awkwardly offered her a fist bump instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 101

Brave

By Only sad - 25/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I finally gathered the courage to confess my feelings to my best friend. As I was about to tell him, he interrupted me and said, “Oh hey, by the way, I met a guy and we’re going on our first date tonight.” I awkwardly said, “Congrats,” and then I went home to eat an entire pint of ice cream by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 160

Bigmouth strikes again

By Ishouldnthavesaidthat - 15/06/2025 21:00 - United States - Queens

Today, I was leaving work to go home and ran into some people setting up an event in one of our rooms. In my socially anxious way, I told them they couldn’t use our equipment by saying my boss is a massive bitch. Turns out he knows my boss and disagrees. I hope he doesn’t say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 597

What happened next?

By Broke boy - 26/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet stall and realized too late that there was no toilet paper left on the roll. I had to awkwardly shuffle around in a panic, knocking on the stall walls to ask for help. The guy in the next stall over gruffly said, “Dude, be a man, just use a sock or something.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 123

Night predator

By Gwen - 28/06/2025 16:00 - Russia - Rostov-on-Don

Today, I'm a 40+, aging, ugly woman with bad skin, and gaining weight. In the middle of the night, the cat landed on my face, clawing it so badly that it left actual scars. Just purrrfect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 145

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 19/07/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I set a silent alarm on my phone for 6:30 AM so I wouldn’t wake up my partner. Problem is, I forgot to turn off “Do Not Disturb” mode, so my alarm never went off. I woke up at 9:30 AM, still in pajamas, and missed a meeting with a client. I'm avoiding my manager's calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 445

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The Top

Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 480

You deserved it 55 205

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 251

You deserved it 4 798

Today, I'm preparing my defense for allegedly stalking someone at work. The best part, I have absolutely no clue who it is. Now my skin is crawling as I go through all the messages and in person events that occurred with my actual twice-my-age stalker to show my boss what a real stalker does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 285

You deserved it 178

Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 781

You deserved it 3 866

Today, my 14 year-old daughter is so selfish that on her sister's birthday, she found the present, assumed it must be for her, opened it, then destroyed it when she saw it was frozen Anna and Elsa dolls because she hates Frozen. Her sister loves Frozen, and hasn’t stopped crying over Anna’s severed head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 450

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with flowers and dinner reservations for our one-year anniversary. She looked confused and said, “Wait, we’re counting from the first time we hung out?” It turns out she thought we were still “just talking.” She also has a boyfriend. It’s not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 344