The Top

OP here! Just to clarify, I didn't intentionally antagonize him and he didn't intentionally bite me. I was playing with my neighbor's retired therapy dog, and whilst trying to pull a toy from his mouth, he chomped down on my finger. It was most definitely an accident, and though it hurt like hell, we have forgiven each other and we're friends again. And I've learned my lesson about watching my fingers while playing with a dog.

By Distracted - 09/04/2015 20:11 - United States - Greenfield

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 465

You deserved it 42 086

By Mackdaddy - 07/02/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 083

You deserved it 9 083

By hairy - 30/09/2013 21:59 - United Kingdom - Guildford

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 417

You deserved it 3 841

By sisterlylove - 10/01/2015 19:02 - United States - Hannibal

Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 425

You deserved it 13 931

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 18:47 - Ireland

Today, I was taking my architecture project to school. I'd spent days preparing my little model house. I stepped outside with it in my hand, and right at that moment a gust of wind ripped it away. It's currently lying in my neighbour's garden, smashed to pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 595

You deserved it 4 120

By queenofdeath - 16/01/2010 18:16 - Israel

Today, I wanted to remove my mustache hair with hot wax. The hair is still there, but my skin is all burnt dark brown. Tomorrow is my first day at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 971

You deserved it 12 354

By MissCharlotte - 21/08/2013 04:06 - United States - Downers Grove

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 840

You deserved it 3 145

MissCharlotte_fml tells us more.

MissCharlotte_fml 26

Friday 23 August 2013 2:23

Hi everyone, I am the OP. I am so glad this got published!! Also, all of these coments are great :) To add more to the story: My sister and I went out to lunch with my dad because he was in town and wanted to see us. He seemed to have changed since he divorced my mom 15 years ago, so we let him drive us home, which is how he knew where our apartment was. Later that night, I heard noises in our apartment, so my badass sister tackled him and pepper-sprayed him as he was trying to pick up our TV. He was aressted (he actually had a knife) and we are getting a restraining order against him.