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t0pher tells us more.

t0pher 0

i need physical therapy for 3 months so i can loose the crutches cause the tumor is spread around my tendons

Chamorru tells us more.

Chamorru 4

I originally wrote this FML :( haha you just worded it better than me. My friends stuck me with a 500 dollar bar tab.

UnicornWaffles tells us more.

UnicornWaffles 23

Hey fellas, quick clarification. When he said what he said I just blurted out laughing, because to me it obviously was a joke. Further confirmation would have either ruin the joke or ruin sex with him forever. He may have very well been a mother-****** but I wouldn't need to know, as we're not dating each other. That being said, I'm positive it's humor, and any humor is a good laugh to me if you appreciate the other person's intension to make you happy. I did forbid him to say that again in bed though; it'll just be creepy a second time. Thanks for you comments :) we had a good laugh.

PyroSam tells us more.

PyroSam 21

Here's the full story (just saying this is my first FML that has been published. Yay!). First off, we'd had a fight and he'd stormed out of the house. I believe he went out with his friends and got drunk out of his mind, which is probably where the midnight Christmas breakup idea came from. The carollers were surprisingly supportive, and I didn't even have to tip them. The next morning I received a grovelling voice message, which I subsequently ignored. I think I'm done with that relationship now, but hats off to his originality.