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I wear a mandatory black polo at work that's easily a quarter inch thick, seeing through it isn't even possible! I just told him to have a nice day.. pretty sure he missed his meds

Odd rejection

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 00:28 - United States

Today, I found a note on my door that said, "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked." Later, I found another note that said, "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 985

You deserved it 3 920

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 18:25 - Singapore

Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 779

You deserved it 3 266

It's on me

By doubledown - 04/06/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I went to the bar I go to every week. My favorite bartender told me I owed $50 for a tab because the waiter screwed up and undercharged me. The tab was from when my friends bought me drinks to cheer me up because my girlfriend moved away. I ended up paying for my own drinks, plus theirs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 462

You deserved it 3 471

By idk ask freud - 04/07/2013 04:11 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 783

You deserved it 9 920

By TheJazzKid - 30/08/2011 03:56 - United States

Today, I played a Jazz gig. It rained, making the tent the band performed under heavy with water. When I stepped forward to play my solo, the front end of the tent collapsed under the weight of the rain, drenching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 252

You deserved it 2 574

Differences

By Anonymous - 17/06/2014 15:28 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 834

You deserved it 3 329

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 145

You deserved it 5 192

By great - 25/01/2013 20:36 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 799

You deserved it 6 589

By goingtothegym - 09/12/2013 01:16 - United States - Canyon Country

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 752

You deserved it 6 559

By elmangy - 11/08/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 850

You deserved it 5 978

By Anonymous - 23/02/2010 15:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered everyone at work refers to me as 'The Man-Lady'. I work in a supermarket's beauty department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 38

I'm so sorry

By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 14:20 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 129

You deserved it 32 278

By MafiaWarsWidow - 05/02/2010 01:35 - Australia

Today, I was on the phone to my boyfriend in England. I live in Australia. What did he talk about for 15 minutes straight? Mafia Wars on Facebook and how far he had got. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 464

You deserved it 5 506

By Animaldude55 - 27/01/2015 23:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 900

You deserved it 2 158

Animaldude55 tells us more.

Animaldude55 4

Thursday 29 January 2015 2:39

I am the OP. Basically it was near the end of the haircut when this happened so I didn't have time to say anothing. Just to add a few more details, she tried putting on a bandaid but it didn't work, rubbed her fingers on a towel I saw blood.

By Anonymous - 22/08/2012 06:01 - Australia - Camberwell

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 702

You deserved it 2 124