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Hi guys, OP here. Yeah I've been a vegetarian for a few years and my friend finally decided to call me out on it. I think i died a little inside when i heard it haha. He eventually did admit that he was wrong and we're still friends and whatnot. Common sense isn't so common nowadays though is it.

By Sam - 04/03/2010 15:51 - United States

Today, I went out to eat with a group of couples and my boyfriend. All my friends boyfriends paid for them. Mine didn't, and said that I should order off the diet menu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 990

You deserved it 5 643

Not now, Cooper

By Me. - 27/10/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 033

You deserved it 8 880

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 245

You deserved it 4 886

Gifted

By kbrider - 02/07/2009 20:37 - United States

Today, my husband's rich aunt and uncle came in town and handed us an envelope and said we hope this helps out with the student loans. Inside the envelope was just an article on new student loan procedures and how to get lower payments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 271

You deserved it 9 212

By baconlady - 31/08/2012 07:06 - United States

Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 767

You deserved it 9 233

Lightweight

By fmlTGOD - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 333

You deserved it 5 788

By Anonymous - 02/11/2015 19:25 - Germany - Herford

Today, my boyfriend had the choice of A) living alone gaming, or B) moving in with me, gaming in his own man-cave, lots of sex, and lots of pizza. He chose choice A. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 069

You deserved it 5 177

By Anonymous - 24/10/2010 13:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was selling personalised stockings at work. When handing a customer's order over to her, which had no name on, I joked, "Oooh this is a bit mysterious". She replied, "Actually, it's in memory of the baby I miscarried earlier this year." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 077

You deserved it 10 019

By longtriphome - 15/07/2011 02:22 - United States

Today, I met my long distance girlfriend after two years of being separated by 900 miles. She brought her short distance boyfriend to the meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 320

You deserved it 7 307

By ===== - 14/01/2014 17:59 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 630

You deserved it 50 044

By Squashed - 15/08/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 140

You deserved it 22 868

By sadlife - 09/07/2009 18:50 - Canada

Today, I opened my lunch in front of my friends at university. I had a note in my lunch from my mother that said "Have a good day sweetie! - Love mom". I wrote that note, and put it in my lunch to impress my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 315

You deserved it 66 550

By Anonymous - 25/09/2010 14:45 - Malaysia

Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 882

You deserved it 4 705

What just happened?

By Anonymous - 02/02/2013 23:03 - Belgium - Schepdaal

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 317

You deserved it 3 784

By Scared - 05/06/2012 00:54 - United States - Arlington

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 671

You deserved it 3 406

By trigfail - 25/09/2010 08:57 - New Zealand

Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 605

You deserved it 46 182

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 23:54 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 044

You deserved it 26 668

By Arrkyna - 23/08/2015 17:42

Today, I decided to upgrade to Windows 10. I wanted to keep my old files on the current hard drive, I clicked on the keep old files option. Thanks to Windows, I lost everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 805

You deserved it 5 712

By dr mamour - 30/01/2013 21:57 - France - Paris

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 121

You deserved it 4 091

By Anonymous - 21/10/2015 04:46 - United States - Middleboro

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 596

You deserved it 2 539

By Username - 02/08/2011 02:46 - United States

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 480

You deserved it 3 258

By Devon - 03/09/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 086

You deserved it 5 049

By rb - 01/05/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 786

You deserved it 3 587

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Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 171

You deserved it 14 041

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument over whether Prince actually appeared in an episode of New Girl. He refused to believe me, saying it was "too weird". I had to find the specific episode to show him. He then said, "Are you sure that's really Prince?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 178

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 259

You deserved it 9 219

Today, I had a piano exam, for which I'd worked hard. I went in, and the examiner asked me to play some scales. I was so nervous, I played 3 octaves and then realised I'd ran out of space. I might have then said, "FUCK!" really loudly… and she heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 399

Today, I'm a guy who's always been physically a late bloomer. In high school, I looked too young for girls to like me. At 22, I still looked 17. Now at 25, I look good but when girls find out my age, they expect me to have everything figured out by now. I never got to be young. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 224

Today, with the cost of craft supplies that ended in a DIY fail, then a costume and overnight shipping, I have now spent $90 to obtain a $10 hat and vest for my daughter to play a cow in the school Christmas play. She will say "Moo" three times with 5 other cows before leaving the stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 752

You deserved it 8 001