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By FML - 29/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 341

You deserved it 7 545

By frankkathy - 26/07/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 425

You deserved it 19 391

By nick_of_time - 23/05/2010 14:23 - United States

Today, the supervisory staff at work was changed in my area. The good news? My boyfriend is now my manager. The bad news? My ex, the guy I cheated on my boyfriend with, is our supervisor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 618

You deserved it 75 047

nick_of_time tells us more.

nick_of_time 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 3:53

Lol, people are soo funny. I agree with half of the post on here. Karma is indeed a bitch but as for me saying FML because now they might find out and I'll get punished well, they both already know so not so much. BTW, no hearts were broken so wrong again.

By Mark - 13/08/2009 22:30 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 767

You deserved it 8 796

By ashleyevans - 04/04/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 005

You deserved it 192 079

By Rick - 14/03/2010 13:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell in a river with a £700 camera, a £200 lens, and an iPhone while trying to rescue a 50 pence ball for my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 865

You deserved it 32 950

By dadadoo - 06/02/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 877

You deserved it 3 336

By emperor - 21/07/2009 05:38 - Bangladesh

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 510

You deserved it 30 675

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 04:10 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 248

You deserved it 39 355

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 05:17 - United States - Muncy

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 859

You deserved it 6 169

By puggles - 03/01/2011 06:52 - United States

Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake of the late Princess Diana's engagement ring. I also found out my fiancé bought it from an infomercial, for $19.95. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 669

You deserved it 7 778

By me - 19/05/2012 02:41 - United States - Wyandotte

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 149

You deserved it 5 549

By Anonymous - 21/09/2009 14:26 - France

Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 883

You deserved it 14 398

By Anonymous - 18/09/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 421

You deserved it 4 454

By Ashley - 07/09/2010 16:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 612

You deserved it 25 317

Can't take the heat?

By moron - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped my hair straightener. The good news is I caught it. The bad news is I caught it by the iron itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 763

You deserved it 7 632

By goldie09 - 18/02/2010 17:36 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 818

You deserved it 5 236

Star Wars brain

By cl4ptp - 14/08/2012 12:17 - United Kingdom - Barry

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 256

You deserved it 7 705

By sandwichmaker - 17/07/2011 02:46 - United States

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 753

You deserved it 3 425

By Confused - 23/03/2012 15:34 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 156

You deserved it 5 430

By lilbit - 26/08/2009 17:08 - United States

Today, while at an amusement park my husband left me to walk with all of our friends because he said that I moved too slow. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 041

You deserved it 6 161

lilbit09 tells us more.

lilbit09 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 15:16

ok...first...this trip had been planned by our church almost a year in advance, so everyone already had their tickets to go. second...there were about 5 other people in our group that didn't like riding rollar coasters so we all went on the boat rides and the train rides, and to the shows. third...my options were go to the amusement park and hang out with friends all day, or sit at the office for half the day and then go home by myself and do nothing. fourth...i don't understand how deciding to have a child with your husband makes you a ****. can anyone explain that to me? oh, and by the way being pregnant may make you slow, but it doesnt make you boring. boring would have been staying at the house doing nothing all day.

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 726

You deserved it 9 803