Sex and Intimacy: You've tried this before, right?

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

agreeclassic 25 590

vote type 1 3 811

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Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

agreeclassic 37 098

vote type 1 5 549

By firsttimer69 - 20/03/2009 06:11 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

agreeclassic 151 777

vote type 1 15 201

By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

agreeclassic 47 606

vote type 1 4 589

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By needsomelove - 20/10/2019 06:00 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML

agreeclassic 2 397

vote type 1 341

Holes

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

agreeclassic 36 975

vote type 1 5 428

By ReallyBro - 21/03/2012 07:27 - United States - Keller

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

agreeclassic 37 566

vote type 1 11 394

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

agreeclassic 53 455

vote type 1 6 045

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By thisisstupid_17 - 16/11/2016 14:47

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

agreeclassic 12 872

vote type 1 1 373

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

agreeclassic 51 971

vote type 1 10 228

By Evra - 16/04/2015 05:04 - United States

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

agreeclassic 38 301

vote type 1 6 131

xGet_Over_It 0

Thursday 1 April 2010 5:38

what the hell is this? 16 year olds talking about their "boyfriends" erected penis?

wags883 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:29

my boyfriend tries that too. by the time the tips in he's hard as a rock :)

Comments

redshortsx 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:30

dump his ass and drooping dick

somethingnew319 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:30

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

epoh_fml 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:32

It is called a flacid penis--not "unerected."

blland 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:42

no picky!

whataloadofbull 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 16:04

you spelled flaccid wrong retard.

frankie1331 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 7:46

No ****! unerected! (:

epoh_fml 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:37

*flaccid. stinkin iPhone. . .

ddlovatolover 23

Saturday 19 October 2013 6:38

The "edit" button's there for a reason. And anyway, if you're on your phone, shouldn't there be autocorrect?

spreadtheword1o1 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:42

nuchey 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:48

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

J_Rodriguez112 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:52

thats sad you should be deeply hurt he cant get a erection with you. lols

Ottoman81 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:57

Too many negative votes, comment buried

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iranoutofnames 6

Saturday 2 January 2010 21:00

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

axxhelairon 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 21:02

Too many negative votes, comment buried

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mander10 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 21:41

Too many negative votes, comment buried

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banananut 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 9:51

Too many negative votes, comment buried

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UltimateGIRness 16

Monday 1 October 2012 20:57

Where did that come from.Are you pms ing or somethin

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML

agreeclassic 23 050

vote type 1 3 033

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stays away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling, "DNA! DNA!" FML

agreeclassic 50 458

vote type 1 4 145

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

agreeclassic 928

vote type 1 2 577

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents. Trying to make a good impression, so when her dad asked how we met, I jokingly said, “She just couldn’t resist me.” Her mom smiled and asked if we used pet names. Without thinking, I said, “I call her my little burrito.” Her dad choked on his drink, and my girlfriend whispered, “Why would you say that?” FML

agreeclassic 85

vote type 1 426

Today, for my birthday, I'd told my boyfriend I wanted a full day in bed with Netflix, champagne, frequent sex, and a takeaway pizza at teatime. He managed sex twice 4 hours apart, kept falling asleep watching Netflix, drank too much, and threw up his pizza all over my boobs. FML

agreeclassic 552

vote type 1 297

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

agreeclassic 52 647

vote type 1 4 456

You've tried this before, right?

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