Trying to Put My Life in Order - FML

Trying to Put My Life in Order

By FML Approved - 17/10/2017 03:00

Life is just one giant storm sometimes!

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vote type 1 126

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Brightbulb 40

Tuesday 17 October 2017 3:38

that would so be me. in a crap situation, make the best of it. I mean, who wants wet sicks if it can be avoided? you have to admit their socks look pretty dry there.

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Brightbulb 40

Tuesday 17 October 2017 3:38

that would so be me. in a crap situation, make the best of it. I mean, who wants wet sicks if it can be avoided? you have to admit their socks look pretty dry there.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my class went to Berlin. At the subway station, our teacher told us to get on the next train. I was the first one to get on and the only one who didn't hear her saying: 'Wait, that's the wrong one!' I'm lost in a city I've never been before. FML

agreeclassic 34 745

vote type 1 6 239

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

agreeclassic 47 122

vote type 1 13 517

Today, I accidentally hit my dad in the eye with our dead dog's squeaky toy. He cried. FML

agreeclassic 982

vote type 1 267

Today, at work, I quickly bought plane tickets on an iPad. I should have taken my time doing it, because now, thanks to autocorrect, I have two tickets for a girl with the first name of Eyelid. FML

agreeclassic 10 098

vote type 1 5 548

Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML

agreeclassic 57 647

vote type 1 3 428

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

agreeclassic 41 687

vote type 1 3 987