Miscellaneous: Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air,...

By stupidity - 25/05/2012 19:30 - Switzerland - Geneva

Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML

agreeclassic 6 785

vote type 1 39 036

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Cool moves

By UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH - 09/11/2022 22:00

Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML

agreeclassic 786

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Freeze!

By Anonymous - 03/06/2024 06:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML

agreeclassic 279

vote type 1 462

Sorry

By Dang - 29/01/2017 18:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was in class with a water bottle on my desk. I was on my phone not paying attention, when some girl knocked it over by accident. I went to grab it, even though it was in the corner of my eye. I caught the bottle of water but I also happened to grab her ass at the same time. FML

agreeclassic 6 445

vote type 1 1 202

By Simon - 30/12/2008 11:14 - France

Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML

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vote type 1 53 550

Fragile

By lithium-dreams - 16/07/2022 22:00

Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML

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Stick to grasping at straws

By Anonymous - 14/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I heroically caught a falling cup of coffee that I'd knocked off the counter. I thought I'd saved the day, until I realized I didn’t actually grab the cup; I'd grabbed the hot coffee directly with my bare hand. I spent the next few seconds hopping around like a maniac while everyone in the office watched. FML

agreeclassic 342

vote type 1 138

Tasty snack

By Thatkid - 18/02/2009 14:29 - Singapore

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML

agreeclassic 18 709

vote type 1 56 645

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

agreeclassic 27 266

vote type 1 4 267

By Anonymous - 21/05/2012 01:10 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

agreeclassic 27 093

vote type 1 2 038

By bobuhbeartoe - 24/08/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

agreeclassic 33 865

vote type 1 20 001

TeaCakes 3

Saturday 26 May 2012 1:32

...Even if you did do it right, it still wouldn't make you look 'cool'.

FMLshark 12

Saturday 26 May 2012 1:35

"trying to look cool": The universal YDI phrase.

Comments

meggieeee51 9

Saturday 26 May 2012 1:36

Not cool and stupid ... You're going places...

Zmeilerr 22

Saturday 26 May 2012 1:37

"Today, trying to look cool." YDI.

luvscomplic8ed 6

Saturday 26 May 2012 1:38

*facepalm*

mercsl65 7

Saturday 26 May 2012 1:38

smooth move rico

mollysticks 10

Saturday 26 May 2012 1:42

How does that make you look cool...

austin101123 3

Saturday 26 May 2012 1:44

You're a dumbass. If you're going to fail at something, at least make sure it is worth something.

TarieBoo 2

Saturday 26 May 2012 2:52

doesn't matter,still a fail

janerose21 3

Saturday 26 May 2012 1:46

what a hot mess !!

idoam 8

Saturday 26 May 2012 1:47

I have a difficult time feeling sympathetic towards an idiot.

mercsl65 7

Saturday 26 May 2012 1:47

smooth move rico

calliefornia2 3

Saturday 26 May 2012 1:47

Your life is ****** because you dropped your soda then reopened it? What a sad life you have..

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Today, one of my two roommates moved out without warning after we discovered that the rent hadn't been paid in full in a month, the utility bill hadn't been paid in two months, and the electric bill hadn't been paid in three months. We found out when the power was turned off. FML

agreeclassic 27 124

vote type 1 3 976

Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML

agreeclassic 15 292

vote type 1 109 870

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

agreeclassic 42 796

vote type 1 4 565

Today, I found out why my ex of three years started an argument with me that quickly lead to our break-up. He said he would be talking to people of a different race to make life "easier." I should've seen the fact that he dislikes our own race from prior conversations. He ended up getting into a relationship two months later. FML

agreeclassic 500

vote type 1 323

Today, having split up with my husband, I tried to plan visitation so he could visit my sons, his stepkids, only to be told he has no intention of visiting kids that aren’t actually his, and that now we’re divorced they're entirely my problem and good riddance. FML

agreeclassic 702

vote type 1 1 257

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

agreeclassic 38 807

vote type 1 7 840

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Cool moves

Freeze!

Sorry

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Tasty snack

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