Love: Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told...

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 15:14 - United States - Dalton

Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML

agreeclassic 22 440

vote type 1 1 915

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By Jack - 10/01/2016 02:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

agreeclassic 25 673

vote type 1 2 515

Differences

By Alone - 21/05/2014 11:05 - United States - Washington

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

agreeclassic 52 423

vote type 1 12 901

Backhanded

By johnny - 05/06/2023 22:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML

agreeclassic 396

vote type 1 919

By CatLover<3 - 18/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Cibolo

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

agreeclassic 46 535

vote type 1 21 939

Circle of love

By HellaBomber91 - 05/12/2009 19:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I'm her first boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 38 850

vote type 1 3 279

Good boy, best boy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 14:01

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 1 220

vote type 1 418

NEXT!

By Anonymous - 28/10/2024 22:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've been crushing on for a while. At one point we started talking about pets we'd had. I wanted to show my sensitive side, so I told her how I sadly had to get my beloved cat euthanized earlier that week, and had buried her in my backyard. Her response? "Ew." FML

agreeclassic 419

vote type 1 147

By fmlsrsly - 25/03/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor to find out why I've been feeling so sick the past several weeks. Turns out, I'm severely allergic to the cat of my girlfriend of two years. I told her "It's me or the cat." She chose the cat. FML

agreeclassic 69 455

vote type 1 30 295

Cats rule, boys drool

By achoooo - 07/11/2009 05:34 - United States

Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

agreeclassic 35 457

vote type 1 3 019

By AngryBirdman - 22/04/2011 05:53

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

agreeclassic 42 295

vote type 1 3 713

snowkittyyy 18

Monday 4 January 2016 23:36

Do...you meow? O.o did you ask why she thought that?

jake_braves 25

Monday 4 January 2016 23:41

So petzoned is the new thing now huh..

Comments

snowkittyyy 18

Monday 4 January 2016 23:36

Do...you meow? O.o did you ask why she thought that?

Lars93 18

Tuesday 5 January 2016 0:35

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

crudeandrudeguy 29

Tuesday 5 January 2016 0:41

If you have to explain the joke then it's a shitty joke

crudeandrudeguy 29

Tuesday 5 January 2016 0:42

If you have to explain the joke then it's a shitty joke

XxDanno316xX 27

Tuesday 5 January 2016 0:50

We got it the first time mate. :)

zach205 24

Tuesday 5 January 2016 6:16

I'm sure some people need a 2nd time before they get it

crudeandrudeguy 29

Saturday 9 January 2016 20:16

I only posted it once "mate". FML does that sometimes

_delusions_ 15

Monday 4 January 2016 23:38

Guess its time to start acting like a dog. Juust kidding. That is odd and I dont see why being a human version of a cat is a bad thing but oh well.

Flowtastic 16

Tuesday 5 January 2016 1:04

You've never had a cat shove their butthole in your face for affection I take it....

Dark_Cecilia 20

Monday 4 January 2016 23:38

How does that even happen?

joeyl2008 29

Tuesday 5 January 2016 2:54

Maybe they are Catkin

Imhere4fml 24

Monday 4 January 2016 23:39

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

Railroader 16

Monday 4 January 2016 23:40

So she thinks you are pussy?

jake_braves 25

Monday 4 January 2016 23:41

So petzoned is the new thing now huh..

jake_braves 25

Monday 4 January 2016 23:42

Perhaps you are a lazy pussy that feels entitled to everything...nah.

Pingvinai 37

Wednesday 6 January 2016 5:31

Should've left at your peak, man.

cacheson 41

Monday 4 January 2016 23:42

Just explain you can be superheroes together. Cat woman and cat man.

FryingPanHero 11

Monday 4 January 2016 23:43

You truly are the cat's meow!

ezrocks4u 29

Monday 4 January 2016 23:43

...did she ever scratch you behind the ear? Do you enjoy long naps and tuna? :3

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Today, I was snorkeling when a stingray suddenly appeared when I thought I was just looking at sand. It startled me, so my heel made contact with a sea urchin so that then startled me, and my other foot hit another one. FML

agreeclassic 18 437

vote type 1 2 311

Today, my colleague heated 1,5 liters of water, waited visibly impatient the several minutes it took to boil, made himself one cup of tea, then poured the rest down the drain. Maximum amount of time and energy wasted in one go? Check. FML

agreeclassic 903

vote type 1 121

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

agreeclassic 23 958

vote type 1 54 123

Today, on the first occasion I've seen my boss since her brief leave, I brought up how I got to hear all our customers' heartwarming plans for their moms on Mother's Day. Her mother just died. That's why she was on leave. FML

agreeclassic 809

vote type 1 283

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

agreeclassic 13 349

vote type 1 57 843

Today, I found out who my ex-girlfriend left me for. He is more successful than I am, and comes from a supportive and unconditionally loving family. He is bigger, taller, and 4 years younger than me. To add insult, I’m only 25 but this rich kid is in a band and plays guitar better than me. FML

agreeclassic 488

vote type 1 201

Similar FMLs

Differences

Backhanded

Circle of love

Good boy, best boy

NEXT!

Cats rule, boys drool

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