Love: Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began...

By single - 01/07/2011 09:12 - China

Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML

agreeclassic 46 861

vote type 1 4 522

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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By Velian - 09/12/2008 08:59 - France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

agreeclassic 32 661

vote type 1 4 749

A quiet place, please

By Anonymous - 12/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML

agreeclassic 423

vote type 1 451

Busted

By PhuckedUpppo - 14/10/2025 22:00

Today, I’m getting a divorce because apparently, when you send your now soon-to-be ex wife a live photo and she presses on it, you can hear your mistress speaking in the background. FML

agreeclassic 66

vote type 1 1 326

By Nomoresandwish - 29/11/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

agreeclassic 29 254

vote type 1 13 506

By GeeTwo - 21/02/2012 18:45 - United States

Today, I signed the divorce papers my wife gave me. When I went to bed, she was on the phone talking to her new boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 39 678

vote type 1 3 077

By unwanted - 24/12/2011 02:24 - United States

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

agreeclassic 34 054

vote type 1 3 698

Never enough

By Discostu80 - 06/06/2009 10:24 - Australia

Today, I was at an awards dinner. I whispered into my wife's ear that she looked really pretty. She whispered in my ear that I should stop clapping so loud, because I was embarrassing her. FML

agreeclassic 46 867

vote type 1 6 947

You're so vain, you probably think this FML's about you

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 04:00

Today, I was told by my wife of 19 years that all the songs about cheating that she's been playing for a year and a half should have been a good enough hint. Getting a divorce. FML

agreeclassic 1 221

vote type 1 118

Noped out of there

By Anonymous - 24/09/2022 11:30 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and teen daughter are at the point where their monthly cycles have synced, so when I got home and heard them screaming at each other, I quietly closed the door so they couldn’t hear me, and like a coward I hid in my car until the screaming stopped. FML

agreeclassic 1 401

vote type 1 233

Better call Saul

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 07:30

Today, my wife broke the TV during an argument with her mother, but it’s my fault because I "put the TV in such a stupid place" so I should pay for a new one. Anyone know any good divorce lawyers? Stick the number in the comments, I’m so done with her bullshit and her crazy family of assholes. FML

agreeclassic 709

vote type 1 153

NeverShoutDana 13

Friday 1 July 2011 18:42

Revenge? When a weight watchers commercial comes on, turn up the volume and give her a look..

StevenJ94 1

Friday 1 July 2011 18:39

Take the hint...

Comments

EliGolsdworthy 7

Monday 16 May 2016 22:23

That's a hint

Athiest200010 2

Saturday 3 September 2016 15:03

now you know what to get her for her birthday

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I was partying with friends. At around midnight, I sent a text message to my friend to reassure her, saying that of course I could handle my drink. That's the last thing I can remember about the evening. It's a total blank from that point onwards. FML

agreeclassic 247

vote type 1 397

Today, some punk got up in my face yelling at me, pushed my wife and scratched my car with a, "What you gonna do, old man?" attitude, and yet I’m the bad guy who gets arrested because I open-palm slapped him and he fell into a glass window and fucked up his face and neck, probably permanently. FML

agreeclassic 2 294

vote type 1 370

Today, my sister told me that the only reason I like one guy is because he looks exactly like the guy that dumped me. I showed her two pictures to argue against it, and ended up proving her right. FML

agreeclassic 24 138

vote type 1 5 828

Today, our washing machine broke and dumped around 100 gallons onto the floor. My dad had installed crappy water valves and we couldn’t turn off the water. I called my dad and he accused me of lying. His “repairs” have now caused 5 major disasters in our home due to his shoddy and cheap work. FML

agreeclassic 1 052

vote type 1 321

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at my grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. FML

agreeclassic 58 903

vote type 1 4 568

Today, I found out that while it is unlikely you'll break your arm by catching it in the door, it is perfectly possible. FML

agreeclassic 888

vote type 1 86