Miscellaneous: Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they...

By Anonymous - 29/08/2013 09:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

agreeclassic 40 825

vote type 1 2 732

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By rian - 03/04/2021 21:30

Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML

agreeclassic 1 087

vote type 1 90

By Sarah - 17/08/2012 07:45 - Canada - Penhold

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

agreeclassic 29 158

vote type 1 3 073

Put it all back

By WTFwhywouldyoudothat - 22/08/2011 22:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully, they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

agreeclassic 32 103

vote type 1 4 384

By Amanda - 19/11/2010 05:14

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

agreeclassic 31 352

vote type 1 3 847

By why me - 24/10/2017 01:30

Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML

agreeclassic 4 331

vote type 1 292

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

agreeclassic 27 966

vote type 1 2 010

By pillowless - 13/10/2011 14:41 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML

agreeclassic 29 988

vote type 1 2 415

By treeless - 24/12/2011 08:11 - Canada

Today, my apartment was broken into. The thief stole my TV, $350, and my Christmas tree. There is still a trail of broken ornaments from my living room to the door. FML

agreeclassic 30 896

vote type 1 2 397

By Aaron - 01/12/2011 22:00

Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML

agreeclassic 37 555

vote type 1 2 754

Very smart

By Leauge - 28/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML

agreeclassic 2 452

vote type 1 316

bleijar 4

Thursday 29 August 2013 16:00

Wow that's just immature. Sorry about it op

tanekdrachonae 19

Thursday 29 August 2013 16:06

Those were some really cocky burglars.

Comments

FranzFerdinand 18

Saturday 31 August 2013 3:18

The Spunking Cocks sounds like a band name.

djsammyc 19

Sunday 1 September 2013 19:46

the gay mafia has struck again........

Artures_way1 23

Friday 18 July 2014 6:22

Best thief ever!

Ethann44 14

Wednesday 14 January 2015 0:46

That's a cocky thing to do

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

agreeclassic 12 991

vote type 1 42 553

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

agreeclassic 75 189

vote type 1 5 664

Today, a passenger in my taxi left without paying. They left their phone, so I posted a message about it from their social media, exposing them. Turns out they'd stolen the phone from someone else. I ended up getting arrested. FML

agreeclassic 3 504

vote type 1 567

Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML

agreeclassic 22 278

vote type 1 1 298

Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML

agreeclassic 7 509

vote type 1 48 617

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

agreeclassic 33 824

vote type 1 4 498

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