Intimacy: Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight... - FML

By sad-boing - 02/10/2015 21:01 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Spicy

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

agreeclassic 24 971

vote type 1 6 920

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Similar FMLs

By anonymous - 24/11/2015 19:38 - Switzerland - Unterageri

Spicy

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

agreeclassic 29 139

vote type 1 3 014

By Danny - 28/05/2012 18:02 - Ireland - Dublin

Spicy

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

agreeclassic 25 315

vote type 1 5 782

By polimeros - 09/05/2012 22:19 - Mexico - Queretaro

Spicy

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

agreeclassic 13 616

vote type 1 41 861

By Anonymous - 21/11/2011 22:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

agreeclassic 38 913

vote type 1 7 514

Hard place

By RohnAbheek - 21/08/2011 17:36 - India

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a Viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML

agreeclassic 15 225

vote type 1 47 408

By MrAries - 02/03/2016 11:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML

agreeclassic 19 790

vote type 1 2 333

You learn something new every day

By Ben - 12/11/2020 19:06 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I woke up with a boner and found out that I have retrograde ejaculation. I'm stuck in jail and can't get medication to fix this. FML

agreeclassic 567

vote type 1 810

Morning glory

By Unwanted - 26/09/2025 20:00

Spicy

Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML

agreeclassic 373

vote type 1 91

Bye bye

By Anonymous - 15/11/2023 10:00

Spicy

Today, after years of impotence, I woke up with a raging boner. I was so happy until I remembered my wife divorced me last year because of my impotence. This depressed me so much that I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to masturbate, and the boner went bye bye, never to return. FML

agreeclassic 648

vote type 1 153

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

agreeclassic 20 846

vote type 1 3 916

Next

TOP COMMENTS

AyeTee77 18

Saturday 3 October 2015 8:36

Dude what

urbantrashcan 18

Saturday 3 October 2015 8:42

Haha I wonder how'd you react to Animal Planet

Comments

labowski1976 5

Saturday 3 October 2015 14:54

Weird European people

oliviadanjou99 15

Saturday 3 October 2015 14:54

How does that happen lmao

MELKOZAR 27

Saturday 3 October 2015 16:27

Bro-code: Never waste a boner.

zombie_batman 9

Monday 5 October 2015 1:36

Bro code: never wank to 2 grasshoppers mating

vikky538 28

Saturday 3 October 2015 18:17

I just threw up reading this.

HunterMark 14

Saturday 3 October 2015 20:24

What the actual ****?!

mcluvin_707 6

Saturday 3 October 2015 21:03

God didn't abandon us. We abandoned God.

smirnoff1589 9

Saturday 3 October 2015 21:31

You my friend are in need of some intensive professional help. That and you should watch the movie "the fly". I'm sure That'd get you right off you sick ****

silky_mitts 11

Saturday 3 October 2015 22:55

Enjoy the acne

blargblah 12

Saturday 3 October 2015 23:46

You're gonna have to explain that one.

mkayden 23

Sunday 4 October 2015 0:54

Mate u wot

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Top

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

agreeclassic 40 463

vote type 1 8 365

Today, I realized my cat has a very serious case of RBF. Let me tell you, there's nothing more unnerving than turning your head and seeing a small tuxedo cat staring daggers at you for absolutely no reason. FML

agreeclassic 641

vote type 1 250

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

agreeclassic 56 153

vote type 1 9 854

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML

agreeclassic 19 196

vote type 1 34 826

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML

agreeclassic 39 557

vote type 1 5 905

Today, while working out at the gym, I paused to check out a beautiful woman. The guy behind me said "Are you going to do your set or are you going to keep staring at my wife?" FML

agreeclassic 2 123

vote type 1 6 685