Love: Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I...

By GlueAndCarrots - 29/05/2015 15:05 - Canada - Markham

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML

agreeclassic 32 230

vote type 1 4 356

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By AlonsoKold - 07/04/2014 23:39 - United States - Jackson

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

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By ouch - 16/06/2016 10:14 - United States - Livonia

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML

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Quite right

By Dodged a nuke. - 08/09/2025 03:00 - Mexico

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to give her my phone's passcode. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/02/2013 10:25 - United States - Winter Park

Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/07/2014 21:18 - United Kingdom - Ilkeston

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

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By keep_your_eyes_on_the_sidewalk - 25/06/2018 15:00

Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML

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By whysheheartless - 03/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 11:28 - United States - Manhattan Beach

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

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By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML

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Twins

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 01:06 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

agreeclassic 49 947

vote type 1 2 954

tehman117 21

Saturday 30 May 2015 0:09

Is she 3?

irish_lad 16

Saturday 30 May 2015 0:10

She threatened. Now you carry out that threat

Comments

BloodyGlass 10

Saturday 29 August 2015 8:38

"Let me cut you to the quick: I'm breaking up with you, psycho." :D

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Today, I was assigned to empty the lavatory tank on an airplane. I haven't done this since February, when the contents ended up all over me. I thought to myself, "It can't happen again, can it?" I was wrong. FML

agreeclassic 847

vote type 1 214

Today, one of my best friends went into labor 14 days early. I'd told my boss previously about this and that I need to be there for my friend as she doesn't really have any family. My boss will not let me leave work to be there. Why? I didn't give enough notice. FML

agreeclassic 41 089

vote type 1 3 387

Today, my time off request was rejected, and my boss promptly took the day off himself, claiming he has people coming to work on his house. We work from home. The day in question is my 5-year wedding anniversary. FML

agreeclassic 1 367

vote type 1 136

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

agreeclassic 13 740

vote type 1 2 685

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

agreeclassic 46 265

vote type 1 9 708

Today, the weather was nice, so I went for a ride on my motorbike. I sneezed inside my helmet. Full-face helmet, might I add. FML

agreeclassic 576

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Quite right

Twins

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