Kids: Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them...

By TiredMum - 16/10/2013 13:33 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

agreeclassic 52 140

vote type 1 7 109

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By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 16:17 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

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By I hate children - 18/08/2014 12:10 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Salem

Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML

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Goals!

By faitesdesgosses - 19/05/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

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By nosestealer - 07/07/2013 21:57 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

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By ScaredDad - 02/05/2019 12:00

Today, I needed to grab something from the garage. As soon as the door closed, I heard a little click sound. My one-year-old seems to have figured out the door lock. FML

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Back to square one

By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 03:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tiptoed out of the room did I realize that my phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML

agreeclassic 47 251

vote type 1 7 737

By pigtails - 16/01/2013 12:21 - United Kingdom - Thetford

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

agreeclassic 31 429

vote type 1 3 243

By emergencyroom - 15/03/2014 12:21 - United States - Parkton

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

agreeclassic 51 481

vote type 1 9 399

BellaBear90 27

Wednesday 16 October 2013 18:49

Smart cookies :)

pam241 15

Wednesday 16 October 2013 18:49

Genius kids you got there

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 16 October 2013 20:59

Smart kids...put the cookie jar out of their reach...

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 16 October 2013 21:03

Hide the cookies.

migueljm5 18

Wednesday 16 October 2013 21:19

Smart kids. U should be proud.

ruvimovd 1

Wednesday 16 October 2013 21:26

Not even funny

why57why 21

Wednesday 16 October 2013 21:30

That's cute

XxxT3rr4xxX 25

Wednesday 16 October 2013 21:36

Crafty little ones aren't they

kugelblitz_ 11

Wednesday 16 October 2013 21:37

If it gets to be too much, take out the bell.

ashalisig17 5

Wednesday 16 October 2013 21:44

That's adorable! And really smart of them

mrsdelonge 8

Wednesday 16 October 2013 21:59

you should be proud

Faddyy6 17

Wednesday 16 October 2013 22:07

aww.. this is cute..

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Today, I was working as a caterer at a wedding when I congratulated the bride’s mom, saying, "You must be so proud of your daughter!" She responded, "I’m the bride." FML

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