Miscellaneous: Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's... - FML

By ohlordhelpmenow - 15/01/2012 03:54 - United States

Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML

agreeclassic 29 521

vote type 1 2 702

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My house, my rules

By Bondi414 - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down." My whole house now smells like piss. FML

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By moudly - 06/01/2010 21:28 - United States

Today, my mom finally believed me when I said I smelled mold. I lifted up the couch, and it was covered in mold. So were the bottoms of all our furniture, our beds, and my grandma's vintage chair. We've been living in mold for the past 4 months. FML

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Today, my idiot daughter has allowed mold to grow in her shower. Her excuse? She thought it was just some “stains” that wouldn’t come out. Yeah, I don’t believe that. I think she knew it was mold and just didn’t care. FML

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By Sick - 28/01/2017 16:00

Today, I noticed a thick layer of mold growing inside the straw of my water bottle. I use that bottle every day. FML

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Today, it’s a rather wet summer and everything in our house is prone to mould. No, I’m not exaggerating when I say “everything”: I just found mould growing on the plates in the cupboard. And, no, we did not accidentally put them away unwashed. FML

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By Cheese luv - 21/09/2016 16:55 - Australia - Watson

Today, my father threw out my $100 wedge of blue cheese because it "smelled funny". FML

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By TheMysteriousTsundere - 03/11/2018 15:30

Today, my dad threw out all my food because a fly landed on a loaf of bread still in its package. He claims the bread and everything else that touched it is "contaminated". That was all the food I had for the rest of the month. FML

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By VibeCheck - 10/03/2020 07:57

Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML

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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

By Anonymous - 01/05/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I noticed mold on my toothbrush. I have no idea how long it's been like that. I told my husband about it via text, and all he could say was, "Welp... ew." We've had a mold problem for years and I'm constantly sick. I also mentioned this and he sent me a shrugging emoji. FML

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By uncleaning - 22/07/2009 23:03 - United States

Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

perdix 29

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:38

Is he talking about food or women?

123josie123 11

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:31

The new version of 5second rule??

Comments

alliebaba7 8

Monday 16 January 2012 2:50

Unsanitary

XxTooCoolxX 0

Monday 16 January 2012 4:08

Oh ya? Meet my grandma..... Oh wait.

tifani322 13

Monday 16 January 2012 4:09

Did anyone else not get over the fact that it rhymes?

linnie_wesker 20

Monday 16 January 2012 4:13

So? I grew up in an extremely poor family and we NEVER got rid of anything unless it looked/smelled bad. We're all healthy. Be thankful for what you have.

Omgitsveronica 4

Monday 16 January 2012 5:09

Your dad is a wise man.

iWoggle 6

Monday 16 January 2012 5:12

Seems legit.

vwjunkie747 0

Monday 16 January 2012 5:18

I love this rule

Okayitwasme 0

Monday 16 January 2012 7:22

Make a new rule.... He samples first!

Miss_Blaine 18

Monday 16 January 2012 20:34

That's what she said!

innka 2

Tuesday 17 January 2012 1:08

that rhymed xD

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Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

agreeclassic 35 281

vote type 1 5 482

Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML

agreeclassic 20 916

vote type 1 1 791

Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML

agreeclassic 36 474

vote type 1 18 210

Today, a stranger at a bird show yelled at me for owning an "unnatural and irresponsibly bred" hybrid lorikeet. He's a rescue who was horribly abused in his last home. Fuck me for giving a shit about animals even if they're not pure I guess. FML

agreeclassic 929

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Today, after 5 years of dating and not even so much as a hint of a ring on the horizon, I asked my boyfriend why he hasn’t proposed yet. His response was “Babe, I’m not gonna pay for the cow when I get the milk for free.” What does that even mean? FML

agreeclassic 832

vote type 1 495

Today, my mum told me I should see a therapist when she saw me wipe down a remote before using it. My dad has a knack for blowing his nose into his hand and wiping it on his pants, and my mum is the kind to pick up food residue from the drain and eat it - but sure, I'M the one with bad habits. FML

agreeclassic 7 726

vote type 1 489