Love: Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was...

By meow - 14/01/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

agreeclassic 26 787

vote type 1 4 499

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By bad sleeper - 19/05/2021 08:00 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never wants to sleepover anymore. He said he loves me, but that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to someone reenacting the crucifixion while being mauled to death by squirrels. So much for cuddling through the night. FML

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By chachi - 28/09/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML

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By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 11:11 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

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By Brinty - 16/09/2009 02:43 - Australia

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

agreeclassic 38 696

vote type 1 4 566

Don't make me choose

By Ames - 23/05/2009 16:07 - United States

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 a.m. my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because, "the cat is sad." FML

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Bed of nails

By JoanT - 31/08/2020 20:01 - United States - Kailua Kona

Today, my boyfriend’s bed is so uncomfortable that even after six months of not seeing him, I’m sleeping on the floor so I can actually get some sleep. FML

agreeclassic 1 241

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By Carowl - 05/08/2015 02:33

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like cuddling in bed because he hates rebreathing his own carbon dioxide. FML

agreeclassic 24 227

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By Anonymous - 31/08/2013 20:52 - Norway - Nesoddtangen

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

agreeclassic 44 952

vote type 1 4 022

By laundry day again... - 08/09/2013 13:07 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

agreeclassic 45 747

vote type 1 3 542

Boo!

By nenette - 12/11/2014 22:50 - France

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

agreeclassic 40 756

vote type 1 3 583

Mortgaged 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 10:44

That's funny! Hurtful but funny. I am the same way. I'm a thrasher. Maybe you should consider a sleep number bed?

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 10:14

Well me and the rest of the football team did try to warn him...

Comments

_TheSmallThings_ 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:29

first

SarcasticAvenger 9

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:41

Who F*cking cares moron!

littlemisshottie_fml 0

Tuesday 13 April 2010 22:15

ha. learn to actually write things that people actually care about.

lizliz07 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:30

first!

24788 6

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:42

Nope you guys weren't first. OP was first you got here a little late.

jair_lhao 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:30

lmao well ydi for snoring weird and #2 you fail

Okinawa95 2

Thursday 7 July 2011 2:21

^ Agreed. Get that shit fixed. =|

lizliz07 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:32

haha so close!

Advacora 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:33

Take the hint. Stop getting buckwild in the bed.

Lessychan 4

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:33

And yet so far...

israelnotjacob 20

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:33

You'll live.

_TheSmallThings_ 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:35

You put up a good fight! :D

SarcasticAvenger 9

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:42

Maybe he was getting freaky with that cat while you were asleep.

ilovefatcats 12

Wednesday 24 March 2010 2:14

nobody likes a vibrateing pussy xD

abcnonamecba 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 10:05

WOW

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