Intimacy Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex...

Anon. - 07/02/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

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Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! …

Dirty talk

CorpseBride - 07/02/2017 04:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boyfriend asked me to talk dirty in bed for him, but my brain went blank and I panicked. I couldn't think of what to say, so I suddenly blurted out, "Do whatever you want with my body. Treat it like a corpse." He laughed and I died a little inside. FML

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fml_for_real - 04/02/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to ravish me. He told me he would rather play PS3. FML

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Anonymous - 21/12/2013 06:26 - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

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Anonymous - 10/06/2014 03:30 - United States - Crowley

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

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Oddly specific question

Anonymous - 08/11/2023 06:00 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

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Read the room

pissed girlfriend - 25/02/2013 03:08 - United States - Celina

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

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Do that again

lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

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Creepy

Anonymous - 28/09/2012 21:22 - Canada

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said, "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

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Mr Loverman

Anonymous - 14/08/2020 08:01

Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML

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Caught a stray bullet

cryface - 07/02/2014 04:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

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hellblade36 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:03

necrophilia much?

tnlander 20

Monday 7 February 2011 23:13

maybe you're too noisy op and he just wanted a few minutes to enjoy himself.

noellexxsummers 6

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:10

If my boyfriend was into necrophilia...I would definitely break up with him. Majorly creepy.

sucks4u918 4

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:12

wow, that's disgusting

thebigblue 2

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:23

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE NOW. DUDE IS CRAZY!!!!

hotscar 3

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:32

my thoughts exactly when I read this...

SuBiE21 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:32

That is really creepy... maybe try finding someone that doesn't want to have sex with a corpse... weirdo...

ladypnk85 2

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:57

Run away!!!!

wlaaf 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:14

that's weird.

jar_89 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:38

Hahahaha I think that's funny, but weird.

yeahreally 6

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:39

Well. Uhm. Try it? And if you absolutely hate it, never do it again. Or if you're just so freaked out don't. Simple.

dansco 24

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:46

You fella is very sick! He either likes sex with dead people or roofie sex :(

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML

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Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

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Today, I had to help one of my best friends while he was having a seizure. Earlier this morning my longtime girlfriend broke up with me. Oh, and also earlier this week I found out my other best friend has cancer. Lord take me now. FML

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Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

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Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

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Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

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