Animals: Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having...

By birthdayfun - 23/03/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 39

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Top comments

0___0 9

Tuesday 24 March 2009 9:07

Was it your 16th birthday at least? D:

uhnonnuhmus 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 10:26

To get revenge, just throw the stray cat into the shower with your mom someday. Then run like hell.

Comments

yaknowiverse 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 20:42

that stinks. I'm sorry about your face getting scratched

Scarlettx7 0

Friday 9 December 2011 4:31

She's slow

Dianaax33 9

Sunday 11 December 2011 13:52

Your mother is a bitch. Happy Birthday!

eatsleepjb 8

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:44

Your mom needs help

xxDefiantxx 0

Sunday 5 February 2012 15:53

Make up some bullshit story of how a man attacked you thoth a knie ;)

katiedoll6 7

Saturday 31 March 2012 1:22

Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday Happy birthday to you ???????????????

ChrisHex 6

Sunday 20 May 2012 5:09

seems like your mom isn't the smartest knife in the crayon box...

kayrachelle17 3

Wednesday 19 September 2012 7:18

I love dogs!

paprika_pilipili_fml 14

Friday 15 February 2013 23:28

I hate cats. They leave hairs and puke all over the place.

Kenton1008 21

Monday 25 March 2013 1:59

So do dogs, genius.

happyfingers 15

Thursday 3 October 2013 21:03

Who throws a cat at people?! The nails.... Owww, the nails.....

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The Top

Today, I was talking to my mom about when I have kids. I told her I may want two or three. She immediately cut me off and told me to stick to one, and that any more than that will be a burden. I am the second born child of my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 596

You deserved it 3 761

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 831

You deserved it 11 185

Today, my fiancé and I both got fired from a job we desperately needed. Why? A friend had practiced sticking him for a phlebotomy class, so he had bandaids on his arms. I was nervous and shaky, as it was my first day. Apparently, this means that we are both IV drug users. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 173

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 895

You deserved it 6 069

Today, after six months of online flirting, we finally met. Three coffee dates turned into getting some in the back seat. Long story short, the coffee shop owner showed his boyfriend the videos of us hooking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 380

Today, I walked to an interview on my college campus. I got there early. The place was empty. I assumed I wrote the date wrong. Several hours later, a friend who also was interviewed asked me how my interview went. The date, time and location were all right. I don't know how I got lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 039

You deserved it 3 755