Intimacy: Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living...

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

agreeclassic 16 459

vote type 1 42 601

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By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

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By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

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By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

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By Anonymous - 02/03/2017 17:00 - Canada - Elora

Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML

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By ohEw - 09/11/2017 10:00 - United States - Pasadena

Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML

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By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

agreeclassic 17 515

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By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

agreeclassic 13 902

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By PJ. - 05/01/2010 14:06 - United States

Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML

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By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

agreeclassic 44 178

vote type 1 3 382

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

agreeclassic 39 753

vote type 1 6 029

s0m3guy2010 21

Tuesday 31 July 2012 9:37

It is always safer to put a condom on before making love to yourself.

thacar 1

Tuesday 31 July 2012 9:37

Why impress people like that? If I saw the condom I would be disgusted, not impressed!

Comments

SquishFish 15

Wednesday 1 August 2012 5:47

I live in Montana too! So cold..... Haha

jarockstar27 10

Wednesday 1 August 2012 6:20

Really....really OP....

HeartOfLead 24

Wednesday 1 August 2012 6:58

Ah, so how was sex with Jill?

the_flirttt 8

Wednesday 1 August 2012 8:39

That is disgusting.

PoppaSoda 5

Wednesday 1 August 2012 9:01

Trust me.. They already know you, they're going to know you're trying a fast one..

baconator_1 3

Wednesday 1 August 2012 13:42

Your stupid and disgusting

geod69 8

Wednesday 1 August 2012 15:25

Forever alone

NikkiBaby93 1

Wednesday 1 August 2012 15:47

Forever Alone

insanity_vvolf 0

Wednesday 1 August 2012 19:49

Forever alone! TuT

rebeccac3 5

Thursday 2 August 2012 6:27

You could have used that time info meet a girl!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

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Today, my mother yet again chose to put my brother's junkie of an ex-girlfriend's needs and happiness above mine, despite the fact that she's stolen thousands of dollars and anything else of value from my mom's house. FML

agreeclassic 1 005

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Today, I felt like working out again since it’s been a while. When I was done and talking to my wife about how good I felt afterwards, my 3 year-old came and patted my stomach and said, "Baby in there, baby in there." Yes, I feel so good. FML

agreeclassic 823

vote type 1 173

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