Love: Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead... - FML

By the other guy? - 29/03/2014 21:57 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

agreeclassic 46 612

vote type 1 19 769

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By kel - 08/11/2013 23:50 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

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By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 09:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

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By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

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Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

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By Itstheapocalypse - 26/11/2017 19:00

Today, while performing a therapeutic massage, I dropped my clients head, shuddered, and jumped away. Why? I watch too much Walking Dead and when I lifted her head to stretch her neck, her soft breathing sounded like a zombie. FML

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By shenmas - 08/07/2018 19:00

Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML

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By can't win - 13/01/2015 16:25 - Australia

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

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By camzzz - 02/07/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

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By a man - 13/07/2013 13:20 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

jannygirl11 2

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:45

By no one but her, hopefully?

scott1092 9

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:44

Good one tho.

Comments

HeyTherexxx 21

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:34

You shouldn't interrupt The Walking Dead. It's ridiculously intense.

martin8337 35

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:42

By whom, then?

Noreason89 6

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:43

Maybe her **** belong to only her and Koko

Smileforme86 4

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:48

Lol. Poor you.

SparkyRoxYurSox 16

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:53

You miiight wanna find out what she REALLY means by that.

Heisenberg01 3

Sunday 30 March 2014 5:02

Good!.

Credibleskills 28

Sunday 30 March 2014 5:09

Damn her comeback.... Hopefully she means they're hers....

bkeller 3

Sunday 30 March 2014 5:46

haha wow what a nice girlfriend

1tsmenoah 20

Sunday 30 March 2014 6:14

She really thought this one through didn't she?

access_unlimited 15

Sunday 30 March 2014 6:25

BURN..!!

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Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

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Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

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