Animals: Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with...

By nk - 03/11/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

agreeclassic 36 562

vote type 1 12 056

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Today, I was sitting in my garage with a fan on my face because it was hot when a suicidal cricket decided to jump into the blades, causing his cricket guts to be sprayed onto my face. FML

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By Username - 29/07/2011 19:17 - United States

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By Bruce - 17/08/2010 17:09 - United States

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML

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By LonelyAF - 12/08/2017 13:00

Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

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SmallTownCutie 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:06

aww it's ok. you're just lonely.

Illyssa_fml 4

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:12

awesome!! are you gonna find a giant peach now? haha

Comments

korn247 5

Wednesday 3 November 2010 20:29

43, YOU'RE AMAZING!!! SYSTEM OF A DOWN!!!!!

caraphernelia 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 20:54

you're a disgusting freak.

magenmurderr 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 21:15

what's his name, eh?

DankAssKeefSlump 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 21:21

Youre worthless pathetic and desperate Die in a hole is a future youre looking forward to

Thatbi 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 23:08

Bummer, For those who are taking the piss ypu obviously havent felt that lonely before. It hurts

tbonea1990 0

Thursday 4 November 2010 0:11

poor cricket

moogie0221 3

Thursday 4 November 2010 0:11

One legged ? Must be named Eileen . Unless it's an asian cricket , Irene .

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 4 November 2010 0:54

Oh my gosh!!!! It's embarrassing how long it took me to get this joke. I hate ethnic jokes, and I hate that I laughed.

thatgirljen 0

Thursday 4 November 2010 0:29

dude, really? a crippled cricket? wow.

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 4 November 2010 0:34

How do you know it's a guy?

Shinygirlnz 1

Thursday 4 November 2010 0:44

The FML belongs to the cricket. Poor trapped cricket. Let the cricket go outside please, that's where crickets are happiest.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, all that I wanted for my birthday was for someone else to pick out a cake flavor, and to spend the day alone. I've been asked ten times what kind of cake I want, and my husband took a off work. FML

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