Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said,...

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

agreeclassic 31 415

vote type 1 5 006

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Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

agreeclassic 32 205

vote type 1 4 861

By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

agreeclassic 20 644

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Say yes

By fuckingdonuts - 18/05/2015 02:54 - United States - Edmond

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

agreeclassic 33 101

vote type 1 5 190

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 09/01/2010 03:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

agreeclassic 23 866

vote type 1 6 009

Sudden dip

By Anonymous - 17/03/2022 17:00 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were out for dinner. We were talking over the noise of the restaurant, when suddenly it got quiet as he shouted, “I can’t wait to fuck you!” FML

agreeclassic 1 208

vote type 1 336

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

agreeclassic 47 212

vote type 1 12 035

Not now

By anonymous - 02/02/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

agreeclassic 36 366

vote type 1 4 723

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

agreeclassic 28 820

vote type 1 4 782

By FYLyfer - 26/10/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

agreeclassic 22 051

vote type 1 5 618

By PTKFML - 26/07/2009 04:37 - United States

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

agreeclassic 54 841

vote type 1 7 624

mclovin55 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 23:02

sex and food! that's all we think about!;:

KaintukeeBob 13

Thursday 13 January 2011 23:05

You misheard. He said, "bugger". You should have rolled over and spread your cheeks =D

Comments

uhhohh5252 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 23:10

haha guess your not that good 

galghs 10

Thursday 13 January 2011 23:15

get over it, he's a man. just laugh it off.

blcarter81 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 23:17

fur burger...

chippa 24

Thursday 13 January 2011 23:19

Your fiancée is a "he?"

blcarter81 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 23:19

your from Lebanon, I think you meant kebab..

awesomeguy1221 4

Thursday 13 January 2011 23:22

It's a sign he wants... a burger!

KingDingALing 9

Thursday 13 January 2011 23:37

I thought that everyone thought about Barney while having sex? I guess that's just me...

ginious 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 23:41

I like to think about Verne Troyer's sex tape.

osirisx3 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 23:51

You expect him to starve?

The_Dude_Abides_ 0

Friday 14 January 2011 2:02

Win!!!

xMexicanXJesusx 0

Friday 14 January 2011 4:06

Rofl

fayul 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 23:52

Men:) gotta love'em!

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Today, the homewrecker who stole my boyfriend had the audacity to text me that I have to pay her medical bills from the pounding I gave her when I caught her and my boyfriend red-handed. She doesn’t care that I will now be a single mom of two kids and my only source of income is gone. FML

agreeclassic 333

vote type 1 1 027

Today, I finally decided to get a dog. I have always been wanting to get one ever since I was a child. I bought a $1,400 Golden Retriever. I went out for lunch a few hours later with a friend, so I left my dog in the backyard. I came back home to a broken fence and no dog. FML

agreeclassic 26 869

vote type 1 64 650

Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML

agreeclassic 38 971

vote type 1 5 158

Today, I realized that choosing to live in the honors dorms was a terrible mistake. Quiet hours start at 6 PM and the only exception is if you are a member of the university marching band, which means you can practice your instrument at anytime in the lounge... located next to my room. FML

agreeclassic 32 162

vote type 1 4 614

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

agreeclassic 54 792

vote type 1 7 151

Today, I went to give my boyfriend head, and his dick tasted like condoms. I'm 5 months pregnant, we obviously don't use condoms. He got scared when I stopped and told him, then he got mad at me. FML

agreeclassic 2 734

vote type 1 294