Intimacy: Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local...

By Khrixas_069 - 18/06/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

agreeclassic 16 731

vote type 1 58 716

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Kinda sus

By kmf - 10/08/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML

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By loveade11 - 12/01/2010 19:28 - France

Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML

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Caught red-handed

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:04

Today, my girlfriend and I got busted by the cops having sex in a dark parking lot near the beach. As if that wasn't bad enough, as I was trying to talk my way out of a ticket, one of the cops peeks into the car window and I hear my girlfriend awkwardly giggle and say, "Hi daddy." FML

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Straight to jail

By Miss bad decisions - 03/11/2023 22:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted having public sex. In desperation, I promised the officer he could fuck me if he let us go. Now I've got an extra charge and probably an ex-boyfriend. FML

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By T-Guy - 03/07/2011 03:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to spice up our sex life, so we went and had sex in the park. We had 30 minutes of "spice", just to spend seven hours in jail. FML

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Hello hello hello

By Bonnie and Clyde - 08/05/2015 02:18 - United States - Humble

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

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By suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

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Adventure time

By Spice gone wrong - 31/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my normally very unadventurous girlfriend decided she wanted to have public sex. We were naked in the back of her car when she saw someone in the distance, had a panic attack, and started screaming uncontrollably. I got arrested because a cop heard the screams and thought I was attacking her. FML

agreeclassic 749

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Hands on the wheel

By Username - 05/10/2011 00:02 - United States

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

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By skinny dipper - 21/10/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

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Iamnotmyself 17

Saturday 18 June 2011 16:14

Looks like this conversation wasn't too "hot" or too "cool"

Luciens19 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 16:15

Feel the burn!!! ha

Comments

kaylapple 1

Sunday 24 July 2011 3:31

feel the burn!

LilToonchiii 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 17:04

that's what you get for wearing a condom!

lexi1220 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 5:20

Did you rent a gazebo??

DevaGolgotha 4

Wednesday 11 April 2012 4:34

A public park... Why? Just why?

moomoo123456789 1

Monday 6 August 2012 7:19

Oh that's hot. Bet the cop liked that

lrak 6

Friday 26 July 2013 6:08

You only live once.

JoseIsAdork 31

Thursday 5 September 2013 3:01

Ummm,would it have been easier and less humiliating to have rented a hotel room or something??

JudgeComrade 17

Wednesday 11 December 2013 15:47

Made me think of Game of Thrones.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Thursday 16 April 2015 22:27

Do that shit at home for Christ's sake.

anonymous920359 0

Sunday 5 February 2017 2:00

I'm a cop and I can safely say you'll be the new "hottest" gossip for a few weeks! sorry op.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, in the middle of sex, a bee stung me on the vulva. Definitely not the kind of prick I was expecting to get. FML

agreeclassic 965

vote type 1 175

Today, it was my first day as a mailman. One of the houses got a bunch of cards, and the owner coincidentally opened the door as I arrived. So I said to the owner that someone in the house must really be popular. He replied, "She died this Tuesday." FML

agreeclassic 35 318

vote type 1 6 630

Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML

agreeclassic 19 709

vote type 1 1 756

Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML

agreeclassic 40 055

vote type 1 4 764

Today, despite having made it clear that I'm neither interested, nor I am able to take over the jobs of the 3 members of staff who have recently left, my boss made a "Progress Plan" for me and will check on it weekly. I'm getting paid 1.5 times less than average in my role and he's not giving me a raise because the company is stingy. FML

agreeclassic 1 061

vote type 1 181

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

agreeclassic 37 241

vote type 1 7 120