Miscellaneous: Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows...

By KindaLooksLikeCocaine - 23/09/2015 23:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML

agreeclassic 22 753

vote type 1 1 756

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By holyshart - 05/06/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

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By curlyisnogood - 10/01/2011 00:19

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

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By funnymanjoe - 14/09/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

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By GonnaLockUpMySpices - 30/10/2015 01:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

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By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

agreeclassic 38 019

vote type 1 2 369

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By stitchwitch - 18/05/2023 00:06

Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML

agreeclassic 711

vote type 1 84

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By Anonymous - 15/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Saint-hubert

Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML

agreeclassic 2 083

vote type 1 832

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

agreeclassic 34 842

vote type 1 2 842

By anon - 23/03/2011 04:56

Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML

agreeclassic 44 755

vote type 1 3 939

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

agreeclassic 23 948

vote type 1 4 014

llama_monicz 21

Thursday 24 September 2015 9:47

There's worse things, trust me

Shadowpartner 11

Thursday 24 September 2015 12:09

^ weekend snorted.

Comments

DanCastellaneta 17

Friday 25 September 2015 4:21

Desperation is a bitch, huh.

CatOverlord 14

Friday 2 October 2015 7:17

sounds like my roommate. ugh.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I let my brother borrow my car, as he had a job interview. I told him the tank was nearly empty and gave him $20 to put some petrol in it. Ten minutes later, he calls me, saying the car won't start. He filled it up with diesel. It's a petrol car. FML

agreeclassic 36 783

vote type 1 4 627

Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML

agreeclassic 32 801

vote type 1 5 051

Today, my boss - whose intelligence level hovers a hair above "Herpity derpity derp" - got up my ass and accused me of lying to him. All because I said that just because I'm a network admin, I can't make his 7 year old piece of crap Blackberry magically be able to use 4G networks. FML

agreeclassic 18 563

vote type 1 1 372

Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML

agreeclassic 24 065

vote type 1 42 017

Today, I found out my happily married father has been hiring escorts on-line for 3 years. FML

agreeclassic 22 226

vote type 1 2 527

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

agreeclassic 32 222

vote type 1 5 655

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