Animals: Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles,...

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 17:35 - Canada

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

agreeclassic 26 409

vote type 1 12 882

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By KittyNeko - 28/12/2009 06:26 - United States

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

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By lizardhater - 12/03/2020 22:09 - Singapore

Today, a lizard got caught in some loose duct tape in my office. A perk of working alone, I get to clean up. Lizards scare the Bejeezus out of me. FML

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By blindsparrow - 18/11/2014 05:35 - United States - Dublin

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

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JenDanielle917 13

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:05

What? He wasn't turned on? You sure?

indistructo 3

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:06

I'm sure that you both enjoyed ;) hey maybe it'll lead to something more

Comments

OneEyedZombie 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:34

How is this possibly FML?

beingagirl 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:34

This isn't an FML , this is like a dream cone true (;

devinewind 4

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:37

best first date ever. If I can help you retrieve your lizard you can hold my snake.

Darklord53 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:41

Don't worry about it, I'm sure he likes you now ;)

BBS90 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:43

Are you sure you didn't do it on purpose??? And by the way did his snake didn't jump into you too???

ChuckNorrisBeard 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:47

You sure you didn't do that on purpose?

sciencekidster1 8

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:47

Good idea, I'll have to try this;)

b1gphil 6

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:51

i bet he wants to put his snake between your boobs ;)

animalover721 3

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:52

Poor lizard is probably turned on!

Munchkin13 6

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:52

This didn't sound like an fml to me. I'm sure he was glad that happen.

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