Miscellaneous: Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple.... - FML

By Rochelle - 25/07/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

agreeclassic 10 103

vote type 1 29 268

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By a_B_c_D_e_F_g - 27/06/2009 14:29 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

ScaughtieHolden 11

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:01

You're supposed to use a banana.

ebonyirony 29

Wednesday 25 July 2012 15:58

Ohhh yeah. Red....delicious.

Comments

davymac718 4

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:14

Are you trying to look like a pig?

JazzyByProxy 14

Wednesday 25 July 2012 21:09

In case we didn't get it the first time..

Googoo27 12

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:16

12, you can't deny it..,

ebonyirony 29

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:17

Oh good it isn't just me who posted multiple times.

hockeyoceancity 13

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:28

You posted four times. The other people who posted more then once were just a glitch that postit twice. You made four different comments so... No was mostly just you who did it.

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:17

Twihard. That is all.

rsunshine2020 13

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:17

Trying to make a boring apple more interesting to eat? Kudos to you OP

dumbledoobie 0

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:19

How did this even make the cut?

KitGrey 4

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:20

Are you Eve or Snow White?

torbey 23

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:23

that poor apple was probably thinking the same thing.

perdix 29

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:31

Set up a **** site where you charge dirty old men to look at your sexy photos while they **********. Now, there's a worthwhile life mission. Send me free photos for my professional opinion, of course, and have you considered branching out to other fruits or interfacing apples with other orifices?

Trisha_aus 15

Wednesday 25 July 2012 20:59

Cherry is a popular one or was it a banana..

uberdubers 3

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:32

Noor got thumbed down D: I would never do that to you, Noor. c:

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Today, the management office of my apartment building announced it will be keeping packages in the office until you can pick them up. They also posted new hours. There will be someone in the office once a week, for two hours only. I work those two hours, every single week. No more mail for me. FML

agreeclassic 12 707

vote type 1 881

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

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Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

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Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML

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Today, I went to a restaurant and sat at the last available table, which had a seat available across from me. A cute girl approached and asked if she could sit down, so I said "Sure" and made some room. She then asked "You're leaving, right?" FML

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