Love: Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back...

By Anonymous - 26/08/2015 11:28 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML

agreeclassic 22 457

vote type 1 10 134

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By cuckoo - 22/08/2015 03:59 - United States - Mobile

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

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By screwwyou - 28/09/2009 01:16 - United States

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

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By apparentlyhesbusy - 23/11/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML

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Hunter_the_Ninja 22

Thursday 27 August 2015 6:37

It's all fun and games until somebody doesn't get the joke.

jpsullivan 36

Thursday 27 August 2015 6:38

Youre going to have a bad time if your sense of humour is that incompatible with him. It might be for the best.

Comments

Greenba5tard 2

Sunday 6 September 2015 5:31

don't say ****** up shit like that then

EliGolsdworthy 7

Wednesday 8 June 2016 17:29

Wow lol

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Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

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Today, my manager called when I was watching porn. I picked up after pausing the video, but somehow the video kept playing. I'm pretty sure she definitely heard. FML

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Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

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Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

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Today, whilst walking past a large pond-sized puddle, a double decker bus and a van slowed and drove around the puddle so as not to splash me. Thinking luck was on my side, I began walking more confidently, only for a tiny Smart car to come hurtling past, causing a huge wave of water to hit me. FML

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Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML

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