Money: Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more...

By ihncredible - 10/12/2012 23:32 - United States - Macomb

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

agreeclassic 30 201

vote type 1 8 083

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By ms piggy - 15/12/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, stepping on a scale for the first time in years, I had to lift up my stomach to see the number. FML

agreeclassic 14 032

vote type 1 43 124

Simple answer

By pathetic - 29/05/2009 02:35 - Canada

Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML

agreeclassic 13 083

vote type 1 59 362

The indignity

By Anonymous - 12/01/2025 06:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I stepped on the scale this morning and it actually shattered beneath my feet. FML

agreeclassic 408

vote type 1 182

By unknown002 - 12/02/2010 01:25 - United States

Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML

agreeclassic 11 235

vote type 1 18 681

Waiting for that trickle down

By amused - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I looked at my bank balance. It read $1.23. That's higher than it usually is. FML

agreeclassic 46 914

vote type 1 8 853

By Mr. Shawzy - 15/01/2009 11:43 - Canada

Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML

agreeclassic 15 105

vote type 1 23 248

By trev - 30/05/2011 16:12 - United States

Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML

agreeclassic 38 152

vote type 1 28 956

By Fatty - 28/12/2011 07:57 - United States

Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML

agreeclassic 31 562

vote type 1 4 892

Rock Bottom Riser

By Anonymous - 27/03/2020 08:19

Today I realized that my boyfriend has more money on his Metro card than I have in my entire bank account. FML

agreeclassic 1 487

vote type 1 305

By fat - 12/07/2010 07:52 - United States

Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML

agreeclassic 17 195

vote type 1 50 260

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 11 December 2012 0:58

But you live in the States! You don't keep pounds in the bank! The Brits do that. Or do you weigh 250 dollars?

LiterOfCola 16

Tuesday 11 December 2012 0:56

~Well I hope you are a fat shit OP!~

Comments

OfficeNinja 5

Tuesday 11 December 2012 1:57

I hope you weigh a million pounds then!

billyz77 24

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:00

Even if I was a mouse, I'd outweigh the amount I have in the bank. Guaranteed annuities seem a safer bet.

epicfailbazinga 4

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:01

I hope you aren't a millionaire

Capt_Oblivious 10

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:03

Not worth your weight huh?

broncos67 9

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:05

1. Get a job 2. Buy a gym membership

NeonPopRocks 14

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:09

Your either morbidly obese, or broke as ****.

Shit_talkin_chik 5

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:11

I feel you! :-(

mercsl65 7

Tuesday 11 December 2012 16:08

Hey I'm from Davis! We should read some fmls together! I'm really kidding. I stopped meeting people from the interwebz after the last time...

Kaerunoutof 3

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:31

Run short. lol

rafty4life 3

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:33

So does 95% of the African population. Most of them don't even have bank accounts. Quit bitching, work more, and spend less.

jerry2011 4

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:34

Hey, don't lose weight then, you must be one son of a bitch.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, it's been a few months since got fired from a job I'd spent two years at. Before getting fired, I trained the entire new staff, and to this day they still message me for help, even though I was fired months ago. FML

agreeclassic 1 080

vote type 1 120

Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed, "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML

agreeclassic 92 133

vote type 1 7 249

Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML

agreeclassic 30 156

vote type 1 3 980

Today, I politely asked my friend if she would repay me the £20 she owes me. She shouted at me, called me an insensitive bitch, and refuses to pay me back as apparently she can't afford to. Her holiday to Italy next week begs to differ. FML

agreeclassic 36 299

vote type 1 3 748

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

agreeclassic 40 076

vote type 1 8 339

Today, I got my car back from the shop. The engine has been rebuilt twice in the past 3 months. My check engine light just came on. FML

agreeclassic 27 568

vote type 1 3 517