Animals: Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly...

By GetMeTheDamnBleach - 21/10/2014 19:46 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

agreeclassic 23 522

vote type 1 32 174

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By Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

agreeclassic 19 396

vote type 1 6 730

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

agreeclassic 33 845

vote type 1 19 108

By dumbblonde - 06/08/2009 03:04 - United States

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

agreeclassic 16 278

vote type 1 62 351

Maths

By lorena_v - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I screamed at the top of my lungs in the middle of a math test because I saw a spider that wound up being a hairball. My teacher was incredibly sympathetic, taking off only five points for "disrupting our working environment". FML

agreeclassic 2 463

vote type 1 4 223

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 35 716

vote type 1 2 521

Best teeth in the game

By Nochnoii - 07/10/2009 20:07 - Belgium

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

agreeclassic 31 680

vote type 1 13 267

By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

agreeclassic 56 171

vote type 1 3 988

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

agreeclassic 36 570

vote type 1 3 027

By Jesus - 27/09/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

agreeclassic 19 268

vote type 1 32 027

By Annie - 24/08/2015 08:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

agreeclassic 21 791

vote type 1 9 274

leaper66 12

Wednesday 22 October 2014 1:19

Hope it didn't taste too bad...

BeepBeepSwerve 9

Wednesday 22 October 2014 1:19

a little mid afternoon snack!

Comments

catanita 18

Wednesday 22 October 2014 8:13

A very good source of proteins.

GuiLD15 7

Wednesday 22 October 2014 10:38

why all the ydi points

katties 27

Wednesday 22 October 2014 17:38

Because it's the person's own fault for having such nasty habits

Baileysear488 17

Wednesday 22 October 2014 16:27

Its karma, the spider wants revenge. ;)

prettyinpinkxoxo 9

Wednesday 22 October 2014 16:31

Ew ew ew >__

winnizzo 7

Wednesday 22 October 2014 19:06

Lol pay back time

aine500 16

Wednesday 22 October 2014 19:22

I feel like throwing up now

megansheeran 21

Wednesday 22 October 2014 23:33

I really hope you washed your mouth out multiple times...ew.

Jaighalor 5

Thursday 23 October 2014 0:11

Solution, don't do homework...

beybmoo 15

Thursday 23 October 2014 2:18

It's called 'karma'.

Kimmy3214 9

Thursday 23 October 2014 23:51

Lol! ? sorry but this was too funny!

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Today, I asked my dentist for a sick note so I could get my lost filling put back in ASAP. According to her, being in pain 24/7 is not a medical condition that would justify immediate treatment. FML

agreeclassic 882

vote type 1 107

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me, because she's found someone "better" than me. FML

agreeclassic 51 504

vote type 1 4 352

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

agreeclassic 34 220

vote type 1 4 028

Today, my cat decided that the best place for her to pee was over the surge protector where my modem, router, and printer are plugged in. FML

agreeclassic 1 546

vote type 1 223

Today, I got married. My mother told me to stop being difficult, because she was the mother of the bride, and it was her day to shine. FML

agreeclassic 42 778

vote type 1 3 044

Today, I finally decided to tell my partner that I was sexually harassed by another guy in high school. When I got to the point, she rolled her eyes, stopped me and said, "Why can't you just tell me something nice? I don't want to hear about it, it's triggering me." Well, thanks for your attention, I guess. FML

agreeclassic 568

vote type 1 118

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