Animals: Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly...

By frankkathy - 26/07/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML

agreeclassic 34 423

vote type 1 19 391

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By MBean - 24/10/2013 18:04 - Anguilla - The Valley

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML

agreeclassic 40 570

vote type 1 28 196

Ouchies

By boomstick - 25/09/2009 13:09 - United States

Today, I pulled a bee off of my friend's dog because we were worried he could be allergic. Of course I got stung, and of course the dog wasn't allergic. Turns out I am. FML

agreeclassic 40 637

vote type 1 5 391

Another pro-shoe argument

By where's the epipen - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Tampa

Today, I accidentally stepped on a dead bee. The stinger was still intact. How do I know? It stung my foot. I'm allergic to bees. FML

agreeclassic 10 256

vote type 1 1 001

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

agreeclassic 29 960

vote type 1 3 444

By hulagirl1217 - 29/05/2010 12:11 - United States

Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML

agreeclassic 31 598

vote type 1 2 947

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:34 - United States

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

agreeclassic 10 571

vote type 1 62 986

Bee plot

By rrr - 15/08/2011 15:55 - Canada

Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML

agreeclassic 16 693

vote type 1 37 801

By sisi9999 - 25/07/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

agreeclassic 42 015

vote type 1 3 596

By markzar - 05/05/2012 07:19 - United States - Amherst

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

agreeclassic 27 758

vote type 1 2 325

By Username - 25/05/2010 12:32 - France

Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML

agreeclassic 16 114

vote type 1 36 219

flockz 19

Wednesday 27 July 2011 0:16

you ruined its suicide attempt what do u expect?

Uncle_Moe_Lester 3

Wednesday 27 July 2011 0:22

that's deaths way of telling u to **** off

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LauraAreias 10

Tuesday 16 June 2015 22:47

guess i never was the only one xD

SpaceToast 25

Thursday 29 September 2016 7:00

At least you tried :)

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Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

agreeclassic 24 744

vote type 1 46 912

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

agreeclassic 11 779

vote type 1 31 301

Today, my sister had about 10 seconds of screen time as a nameless extra in a movie and mom won’t stop crying she’s so proud she saw one of her babies on the TV. I used to work for the BBC. I was on TV for minutes at a time, at least once a week, and she was never this proud of me. FML

agreeclassic 1 391

vote type 1 148

Today, I got a message from a woman. It was my boyfriend of five years' ex-girlfriend, telling me that she’s pregnant with his baby and that they’ve been together for a year. FML

agreeclassic 1 237

vote type 1 77

Today, my baby kept me up all night, and I only got 3 hours sleep. Normal, right? He's not even born yet and I'm only 5 months along. FML

agreeclassic 836

vote type 1 215

Today, I “caught” my partner looking at porn, again. I walked in on him with his cock out, looking at his phone. He jumped to put it away, except just like last time, I told him we could watch together, but he's “too ashamed” to even discuss it. At this point I’m pretty sure he’s just sexting someone else and doesn’t want to get caught. FML

agreeclassic 638

vote type 1 185

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Ouchies

Another pro-shoe argument

Bee plot

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