Miscellaneous: Today, I realized the only real accomplishment I've had in my...

By Anonymous - 27/12/2018 18:00 - United States - Floral Park

Today, I realized the only real accomplishment I've had in my life that I take any pride in is that I've had an FML published. FML

agreeclassic 2 391

vote type 1 439

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Similar FMLs

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 13:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

agreeclassic 39 307

vote type 1 7 681

FML brings solace

By Depresso - 24/07/2021 16:01

Today, I checked this site to find out that my previous submission had made it onto the main page. This has been the sole highlight in my life for the past month. FML

agreeclassic 795

vote type 1 218

And yet, here you are! Congratulations!

By Anonymous - 07/12/2024 08:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

agreeclassic 96

vote type 1 605

By Anonymous - 19/05/2011 03:48 - United States

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

agreeclassic 12 898

vote type 1 24 120

By Anonymous - 11/06/2016 05:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML

agreeclassic 13 442

vote type 1 1 734

By Anonymous - 06/01/2017 23:46

Today, I had to do an assignment about my greatest achievement and about an award I've received. I don't have either. FML

agreeclassic 2 048

vote type 1 255

Shitty

By OnCompanyTimeToo - 02/09/2013 01:21 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, while writing a self-evaluation for my internship, I had to type up answers to certain questions and then submit them. After submission, I re-read one of the answers I had written that said, "After 3 months on the jon I finally feel like I have accomplished a lot." I had meant to write job. FML

agreeclassic 35 277

vote type 1 9 337

#LurkerForLife

By Anonymous - 03/08/2017 05:00

Today, I realized that my social life is so dead that the only thing I do that involves other people is read FML. I don't even participate in the comments. FML

agreeclassic 4 795

vote type 1 1 111

Send 'em in anyway

By mega_bite - 25/08/2021 13:31 - India

Today, again I wrote out another FML. Again, I deleted it before posting. Every FML I write would seem like I'm just making stuff up, or would be so obviously me that it would just cause me grief. My life is just an endless stream of weird stuff I can't tell family or friends. FML

agreeclassic 726

vote type 1 306

By ish0rty - 14/11/2011 08:42 - United States

Today, my social awkwardness is so bad, I was actually proud of myself for managing to ask someone a question. FML

agreeclassic 30 058

vote type 1 5 003

Madison Gliosci 16

Friday 28 December 2018 1:26

Well now you have two things to be proud of

BurnInDemonFire 35

Tuesday 18 December 2018 20:27

No shame in that. Which one is it? You didn't add a user name to this one.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 35

Tuesday 18 December 2018 20:27

No shame in that. Which one is it? You didn't add a user name to this one.

Madison Gliosci 16

Friday 28 December 2018 1:26

Well now you have two things to be proud of

inappropes 31

Friday 28 December 2018 1:59

same here. and they erased a few I had when they updated the site awhile ago as well lol.

Burle 17

Friday 28 December 2018 3:04

Right on, the secret to happiness is lowered expectations

EmDizzle2007 28

Friday 28 December 2018 3:13

-hears the jingle in my head-

bl3ur0z3 17

Friday 28 December 2018 3:38

Congrats! You got another one :)

whiskey'swino 15

Friday 28 December 2018 7:34

Take the time, take the risks if it matters so much.

John Croasdell 4

Saturday 29 December 2018 0:19

Are you Richard Pencil?

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Today, my husband is still swearing he’s not cheating, forgetting I have a bachelor's in criminal justice with a minor in criminology. Leaving for work 2 hours early going to the same address every morning? Late every evening going to the same said address? How stupid does he think I am? FML

agreeclassic 2 306

vote type 1 395

Today, I went to see Terminator. Not wanting to spend an outrageous amount of money at the concession stand, I sneaked a Dr. Pepper into the theater. I thought I had gotten away with it, until I opened the bottle and it exploded all over me and four other people that I didn't know. FML

agreeclassic 15 428

vote type 1 52 970

Today, I was late for class. I have extreme social anxiety, so I quietly slipped into the huge, packed auditorium, trying to be as quiet as possible. When I was almost to my seat, I accidentally kicked a teacher's coffee down the steps. The entire class looked at me and some clapped. FML

agreeclassic 26 640

vote type 1 3 910

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

agreeclassic 31 681

vote type 1 3 004

Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML

agreeclassic 3 869

vote type 1 382

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

agreeclassic 13 475

vote type 1 57 115