Animals: Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with... - FML

By bored2death - 23/07/2010 22:15 - United States

Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML

agreeclassic 31 265

vote type 1 6 223

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By HelpMe - 25/02/2014 09:59 - United Kingdom - Galashiels

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

agreeclassic 54 012

vote type 1 3 854

By Beeisc00l - 05/10/2011 18:58 - Reserved

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

agreeclassic 30 624

vote type 1 22 539

By pigglepigglepiggle - 24/11/2009 02:30 - United States

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

agreeclassic 10 529

vote type 1 29 620

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 21:48 - United States - Merrimack

Today, I found out that my friends only hang out with me so they can play with my dog. FML

agreeclassic 21 780

vote type 1 2 427

What a cozy moment

By ratfaced - 12/10/2017 07:00 - United States - Stamford

Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML

agreeclassic 3 738

vote type 1 384

By animallover - 26/06/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML

agreeclassic 34 597

vote type 1 5 307

By Anonymous - 02/12/2009 19:25 - United States

Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML

agreeclassic 30 893

vote type 1 7 348

By LG - 17/03/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML

agreeclassic 38 675

vote type 1 4 152

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

agreeclassic 30 138

vote type 1 7 206

By Anonymous - 03/09/2011 02:47 - United States

Today, my school is having their homecoming, and it seems everyone but me has someone to go with. My best friend has her boyfriend, my brother has a date, and I have my hamster. FML

agreeclassic 30 382

vote type 1 6 887

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TOP COMMENTS

justsayfuck 5

Saturday 24 July 2010 1:58

You liar! You forced him :o

ibmike22 13

Saturday 24 July 2010 2:01

i wish i had a guinea pig:( oh well, the only friend i need is my fridge

Comments

beautyful_mess 0

Saturday 11 February 2012 21:28

Lol. I bet you he had to stay

Grawdz 4

Tuesday 10 September 2013 6:34

I wish I still had my guinea pig

XxSpaceJamxX 4

Friday 7 March 2014 18:41

Guinea Pigs are awesome!

Geraldinehoney 11

Tuesday 23 September 2014 20:40

I love guenia pigs i have one its a boy it hops around like its a rabbit we i think it's a dummy though cuz it thinks when u pour bedding or hay in its cage ur supposed to go under it

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Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

agreeclassic 38 477

vote type 1 5 874

Today, my wife refuses to let me play my Xbox, except at the weekends, because it’s "a childish waste of time" and "we need to spend more time together", yet when we’re together she has no problem spending hours on games on her phone. No, she does not see the irony in this either. FML

agreeclassic 1 517

vote type 1 227

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

agreeclassic 39 518

vote type 1 3 060

Today, I walked outside and found our kitten, my kids' favorite pet, convulsing and choking on the carport. Nothing we did helped and she died in my arms five minutes later. We've buried her, and I'm dreading going home and telling my boys that she's passed. FML

agreeclassic 502

vote type 1 120

Today, I had a job interview that I had spent hours preparing for it. When I arrived, the interviewer told me the position had been filled already and they forgot to notify me. I wasted a whole fucking day for nothing. FML

agreeclassic 927

vote type 1 86

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

agreeclassic 32 917

vote type 1 2 734