Geek: Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I...

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

agreeclassic 14 294

vote type 1 56 139

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By Laughluv - 02/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML

agreeclassic 7 814

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By bieberyoulittleSHIT - 31/08/2012 19:20 - United Kingdom - Goole

Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML

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By fuck teh poleese - 12/02/2012 21:50 - United States

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

agreeclassic 10 016

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By fuck you, jack - 04/03/2014 20:44 - United States - Peabody

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

agreeclassic 46 272

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By Anonymous - 29/06/2013 14:57 - United States

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

agreeclassic 27 630

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By TBaggins00 - 21/06/2009 07:34 - United States

Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML

agreeclassic 14 257

vote type 1 61 696

By RandomMe - 26/02/2016 08:00 - Cambodia - Sihanouk

Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML

agreeclassic 17 702

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Pizza is pizza

By Terri - 01/08/2025 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tried to reheat some leftover pizza in the microwave but forgot to take the plastic wrap off. The microwave filled with smoke, and the plastic melted onto the pizza. I ate burnt plastic-flavored pizza for lunch, because pizza is pizza and I couldn't bring myself to through it away. FML

agreeclassic 61

vote type 1 664

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 12:00

Today, I was making one of those microwavable pizza kits. Realizing I had no crushed red pepper to put on it, my mom suggested using a chili pepper she had dried. Thinking it was a great idea, I cracked it open on my pizza and out popped some fuzzy white mold and two maggots. FML

agreeclassic 1 695

vote type 1 266

Freakout

By Anonymous - 06/08/2013 06:19 - United States

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

agreeclassic 50 302

vote type 1 9 823

null_fml 11

Sunday 14 November 2010 0:07

So you're a spawncamper? ...I hate you.

Fichael 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 0:23

don't feel bad I've been throwing stuff at ppl thinking I'm using a tomahawk

Comments

ianzzz 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 17:04

cod sucks

DRock525 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 17:26

there is never to much COD!!!!!

KYS75 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 17:44

FTW!!!!! brilliant

hasan_shami2013 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 19:00

lmao, this made me laugh so hard hahahaha, BLACK OPS FTW!!!!

iHateThisLife 10

Sunday 14 November 2010 19:32

time to find another hobby

Ellen_Farrah 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 19:47

lmfao

TrustStolen 16

Monday 22 September 2014 4:30

I call bs on this story sorry

Solano2580 24

Thursday 25 September 2014 2:31

YDI for playing it in the first place

KittehGrey 19

Sunday 22 February 2015 4:39

#50000 for 'you deserved it' because let's faceit, you totally did XD

moonshinegurl77 17

Wednesday 1 June 2016 15:43

I love the game play it all the time

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, after my family and I returned to our motel after a long day trip, we saw that the room was made. As we were getting ready to sleep, I pulled my sheets back to find a large piece of crap smeared all over the bed. When we told the front desk about this, they told us to "fuck off." FML

agreeclassic 2 032

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Today, my seemingly innocent younger brother showed our family a video of what he was doing last night when he skipped New Student Orientation. He's been in college all of 48 hours and he's already joined a fight club. FML

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Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML

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Today, I asked my two children why they smelled like pee after we had gotten lunch at McDonald's. They told me that they were playing in the puddles in the play-place. FML

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vote type 1 5 000

Today, the guy I was hopelessly crushing on 4 years ago who told me, and I quote, “I’d rather stab my dick with pins & needles and dip it in lemon juice than go out with Miss Piggy.” is now saying, “Wow, hun you look great! You know, I always liked you, can we give it another shot?” I’ve lost 65 pounds. FML

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Today, I made my mom a mix CD for her car. It took me ages to find just the right songs that would be perfect for her. When I played it for her in the car, she took it out and threw it out of the window. FML

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Pizza is pizza

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