Miscellaneous: Today, I poured boiling water over my instant noodles. A freshly...

By delicious - 06/01/2016 03:05 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I poured boiling water over my instant noodles. A freshly boiled cockroach also rolled out onto my noodles. FML

agreeclassic 21 888

vote type 1 2 344

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Tasty

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 14:30 - United States

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

agreeclassic 32 743

vote type 1 6 845

By notgonnaeatthat - 17/03/2016 20:40 - Germany

Today, it appears that moth larvae can make a water boiler their home, especially during my absence for four weeks. I learned it the hard way by pouring their boiled carcasses over my noodles. FML

agreeclassic 18 714

vote type 1 2 224

By Ew-dles - 09/09/2017 20:00

Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML

agreeclassic 3 509

vote type 1 708

Clumsy

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 20:02

Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML

agreeclassic 771

vote type 1 287

By Lexi - 31/10/2009 20:15 - France

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

agreeclassic 8 218

vote type 1 36 270

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

agreeclassic 52 989

vote type 1 4 787

Can't feel my tongue

By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 17:01

Today, I was using the same metal spoon to stir boiling noodles and the pasta sauce I was heating up. I decided to taste the sauce and see if it was getting warm, forgetting that the spoon was sitting in boiling water three seconds earlier. FML

agreeclassic 338

vote type 1 1 135

Yummy

By Veggie dinner - 01/07/2024 16:00 - Germany - Essen

Today, I was boiling pasta and tasting it every now and then too see if it was done. As an afterthought, I threw in some lentil pasta as well. Only after tasting a few more times did I notice the maggots that were now slowly rising in the boiling water. I didn't expect that much protein in those lentils. FML

agreeclassic 425

vote type 1 154

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

agreeclassic 45 295

vote type 1 3 664

Those things freak me out

By Gilly - 02/09/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML

agreeclassic 346

vote type 1 495

fuckfuckityfuck 16

Wednesday 6 January 2016 12:34

at least you found the roach at that moment instead of when you were eating it.

VikingLynne 18

Wednesday 6 January 2016 12:27

free proteins!

Comments

False_Stupidity 41

Wednesday 6 January 2016 23:34

Read this just as I was about to eat noodles... Appetite is now gone, thanks OP.

bigsisterdev 6

Thursday 7 January 2016 1:37

Protein!

cats54321 19

Thursday 7 January 2016 3:56

Ewwww my jaw just dropped that is so repulsive

Xion0014 20

Thursday 7 January 2016 4:12

it'll build up your immune system.

TripleDallas123 15

Thursday 7 January 2016 6:06

RIP Instant Noodles 2016-2016

Metallicality 5

Friday 8 January 2016 19:03

Oh my **** that is disgusting

queen_victoria 4

Saturday 9 January 2016 11:49

Protein!

genshift 8

Saturday 9 January 2016 20:21

I promise you, as bad as your day may be going, his is considerably worse.

Dylan Bower 9

Thursday 23 March 2017 3:15

Mmm... bon appe-eww

Sonotsuave 35

Thursday 18 April 2019 5:27

I’m cringing so hard

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Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

agreeclassic 63 257

vote type 1 5 278

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

agreeclassic 36 329

vote type 1 3 113

Today, I went to the game with my boss and some people he does business with on his tab. I got so drunk that I blacked out, threw up all over the table, and passed out in the bathroom. I woke up alone with my body reeking of vomit, and no phone. FML

agreeclassic 8 542

vote type 1 76 928

Today, I had to walk home from school in the rain, because my mom "didn't have a car to pick me up in". But when I got home, the car had magically appeared. Just great. FML

agreeclassic 23 895

vote type 1 2 377

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

agreeclassic 28 205

vote type 1 5 335

Today, I worked in a clinic as a intern. A nurse was called to dry a woman's hair. I followed her, trying to be a good intern. After the nurse was done, the 72 year old woman took off her bathrobe. While looking at me she sat down, her legs wide open. And, yes, she knew she was naked. FML

agreeclassic 40 426

vote type 1 3 422