Love Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve...

cgold - 30/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

We Are Family

bad dad - 15/03/2020 00:01

Today, I met my paternal grandparents for the first time, since my dad was never in my life and my mom wouldn’t talk about him. According to them, I have at least 28 other siblings from him, and who knows how many that haven’t come forward. No wonder my mom always hated him. FML

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Stellar parenting

joi9496 -

Today, at age 23, I met my absentee father. He went on about how much he missed me and wanted to know more about me. He then asked if I knew where he could get some good weed, and said he'd share it to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases. FML

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Very professional

Really? I am? - 18/10/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, like every other month, I accompanied my paternal grandfather to visit his doctor who's as old as he is, and whom I never spoke to ever. As I waited outside, for the first time ever, grandpa had me come in to meet his doctor. The very moment I stepped into his office, he greeted me with a, "He's obese!" FML

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CaptainByron - 28/04/2017 00:00

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML

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Booze-fuelled family drama

Anonymous - 08/02/2022 11:59

Today, I found out that the man I called grandpa for 40 years is really my dad. My drunk aunt spilled the beans. Her exact words were, "My dad is a better dad to you than he EVER was to me! You never wondered why he treated you better than his other grandchildren? You're his son!" FML

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Nice meeting you…

brigitte - 27/06/2013 17:35 - France - Noyon

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

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Dad jokes, part #23556

ashamed - 28/10/2019 02:00

Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML

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Pleasant

daddydaughterWTF - 02/08/2012 00:06 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

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Final destination

Anonymous - - United States

Today, my dad's cremated remains came in the mail. This is the first time in my entire adult life that he has visited me at my home. FML

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T - 01/10/2010 09:09 - France

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

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betsymonty 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 16:14

It obviously didn't mean that much to him. I've learned that blood relationships don't mean as much as the relationships you've chosen to have.

BannedDistress78 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 16:15

how big is your 'rack?'

_anonymoose_ 0

Friday 1 May 2009 0:24

doesn't he know that it's perverted to say that to your grandchild?

sandy_fml 0

Friday 1 May 2009 1:02

Thats the funniest f*ing thing ever. Where'd you find him, in prison?

wellesleybanana 0

Friday 1 May 2009 1:05

giggity

Sportsfreak2034 0

Friday 1 May 2009 1:10

wow, what an ass

Oriina 0

Friday 1 May 2009 2:05

Well, dear, that's probably the reason you haven't met him previously. Really, I'm sorry to hear that, though.

Sessee 4

Friday 1 May 2009 2:57

My grandpa raped an eleven year old. I win.

neverland_fml 0

Friday 1 May 2009 3:11

Bad draw. Bad luck of the draw. Sorry, hun. He's a creeper and will probably try to touch you so just, let him go. You tried and he failed you, not the other way around.