Kids: Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes...

By Insanity - 09/04/2015 05:28 - France - La Poste

Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes are poop." I was a lot less proud of myself when he pointed at a 6-foot bodybuilder-type dude in the subway and yelled, "That man smells of pooooooop." FML

agreeclassic 31 169

vote type 1 7 786

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By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

agreeclassic 3 910

vote type 1 478

By nature - 25/09/2017 23:15

Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML

agreeclassic 3 388

vote type 1 340

Hellooooo, Social Services?

By whatisthisshit - 17/03/2017 00:00

Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML

agreeclassic 5 491

vote type 1 741

By Chan - 23/01/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

agreeclassic 10 113

vote type 1 40 591

Good boy

By anonymous - 16/03/2011 02:05

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

agreeclassic 42 200

vote type 1 6 163

By kewtness_17 - 01/10/2011 23:10 - United States

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

agreeclassic 32 571

vote type 1 12 185

By BadDad - 30/04/2017 15:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was summoned to the bathroom by my three-year-old, who still needs help cleaning up sometimes. When I walked in, he looked so happy and proud as he pointed to the trash can saying, "Look at my big poop!". Buying a new trash can tomorrow. FML

agreeclassic 4 827

vote type 1 696

By Anonymous - 01/06/2010 16:43 - United States

Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML

agreeclassic 27 974

vote type 1 4 506

By Anonymous - 26/05/2012 00:15 - United States

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

agreeclassic 28 277

vote type 1 2 739

Nice day for it

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML

agreeclassic 34 100

vote type 1 9 732

T1A2Z3 34

Thursday 13 December 2018 9:10

That's pretty funny TBH 😂😂

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T1A2Z3 34

Thursday 13 December 2018 9:10

That's pretty funny TBH 😂😂

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, we got on the plane for our honeymoon and her parents were on the same damn plane, going to the same spa resort, in the room next door, and my wife has the nerve to tell me it was a coincidence. How we supposed to get our sexy freak on, sharing a bedroom wall with her repressed mother? FML

agreeclassic 1 741

vote type 1 208

Today, my landlord informed me that after 8 months, we are finally getting cable and internet in our house. I move out tomorrow. FML

agreeclassic 35 820

vote type 1 3 812

Today, my wife told me alcohol gives me "increased confidence without increased ability." FML

agreeclassic 19 569

vote type 1 4 608

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you." FML

agreeclassic 60 204

vote type 1 3 524

Today, my dad came up into my room and told me that as a consequence of breaking my MacBook in anger, he’s punishing me by helping him with yardwork every single hour of the day. FML

agreeclassic 71

vote type 1 1 197

Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML

agreeclassic 21 111

vote type 1 1 521

Similar FMLs

Hellooooo, Social Services?

Good boy

Nice day for it

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