Sex, Cheating and Intimacy: Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving...

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 15:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

agreeclassic 130 282

vote type 1 5 460

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Romantic gesture

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 18:00

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

agreeclassic 6 473

vote type 1 309

In the mood

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 02:00

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

agreeclassic 2 310

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Surprise!

By Shobz - 26/10/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

agreeclassic 37 730

vote type 1 2 764

Romance is dead

By Dead Bedrooms, here i come - 13/03/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML

agreeclassic 564

vote type 1 120

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 02:01

Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML

agreeclassic 2 843

vote type 1 371

By dwood08 - 07/11/2014 01:55 - United States - New York

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

agreeclassic 34 039

vote type 1 15 941

Sussy

By Anonymous - 11/09/2023 07:30

Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML

agreeclassic 667

vote type 1 290

By Kaji - 14/11/2008 11:20 - France

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

agreeclassic 44 559

vote type 1 24 137

Sorry!

By Tally - 24/09/2009 16:16 - Canada

Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited, until I saw they were from a friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML

agreeclassic 49 897

vote type 1 2 875

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:00 - Hungary - Szeged

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

agreeclassic 53 858

vote type 1 3 996

Nykaen 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 23:05

Dude... Leave her, she is worthless. And disown your brother... No man should ever do that to family.

crazyval619 6

Wednesday 5 August 2009 23:01

Dude that sucks.

Comments

Leumas1999 3

Monday 3 November 2014 6:12

divorce her, then sue her for commiting adultery, and you know disown your brother and her for having FREAKING SEX WITH YOUR BROTHER/WIFE

Karrthus_fml 12

Monday 10 November 2014 9:59

I don't have a brother. I don't have to worry about these things.

i_lik_tomaters 21

Thursday 19 March 2015 4:00

Ydi for coming home early. Jk that sucks fyl

ChrisMora 16

Wednesday 22 July 2015 1:28

That sucks

whymeplease44 8

Tuesday 7 June 2016 3:38

she doesnt deserve you. you sound nice and respectful. she doesnt

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Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a 'free hugs' sign. FML

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vote type 1 115

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she gave me a really long recipe and said, "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic." I work at Starbucks. FML

agreeclassic 75 780

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Today, I put my AC in my room again in preparation for summer. However, I forgot that my cat messed up the accordion while climbing the window like an idiot, so it no longer closes properly. So there is now an opening in the window that I can't do anything about. Hello, insects. FML

agreeclassic 307

vote type 1 181

Today, in the spirit of being helpful, I accidentally convinced the girl I'm secretly in love with to stay with her boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 1 280

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Today, I finally found a job as a secretary for a small film studio. The sets are in a soundproofed part of the building, but not for the typical reasons. Right through the wall is a pornography studio. It's all I'll hear from 8 to 5 every day. FML

agreeclassic 1 556

vote type 1 271

Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML

agreeclassic 8 889

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